Did Frogs Build the Pyramids???

Posted on by masercot

[In my studies, I’ve found a lot of anomalies in the theories surrounding the building of the Egyptian pyramids. It wasn’t until I’d made the journey to the country itself and gone on a bender and been evicted from that same country, told to never come back, that I realized that, maybe it wasn’t men but FROGS who built those mighty structures. Proof? I’ve got plenty…]

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At the time, frogs had nothing better to do than to build the pyramids

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Archaeologists can find no records of Egyptians denying that frogs built the pyramids.

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Studies show that the pyramids would’ve been a lot cheaper to build if workers had been paid in flies.

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The pyramids wasted a big chunk of the desert, which would’ve been acceptable to frogs who preferred still waters to live near.

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Okay, let’s assume frogs DIDN’T build the pyramids. Now, let’s assume that they did. You have no will of your own, do you?

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Hebrew slaves couldn’t have built the pyramids because they spent too much time parting seas and conjuring up plagues.

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If frogs didn’t build the pyramids, who did? Salamanders? Do you realize how stupid that sounds?

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The Egyptian goddess of childbirth, Heqet, had a frog’s head. Anyone who could handle midwifery could definitely stack stones on top of one another.

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I have reason to believe that frogs understood the concept of pi centuries before the Egyptians did. Unfortunately, my reason to believe is not a good reason…

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Exodus tells us that frogs moved into the cities of the Egyptians in massive numbers probably because the pyramid was finished and they just wanted to blow off a little steam.

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It’s no accident that a LOT of frogs look like Omar Sheriff…

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16 thoughts on “Did Frogs Build the Pyramids???”

    1. It’s one I’ve been sitting on for a while… but, I’m kind of blocked so… out it goes…

      Let me ask: You seem prolific. Do you have a bunch of half-finished stuff that you swear that you’ll get to and never do?

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      1. Not really. I am pretty ruthless, so often if it’s half-finished or I don’t like it, it goes into a folder called “Mediocre Stuff” (and usually stays there).

        I think that helps me avoid that guilty feeling of “I should finish that poem about butterfly turds but it’s not really floating my boat.”

        I’d hazard a guess and say your folder could be called “Slightly Less Brilliantly Hilarious Stuff Than My Usual,” instead of “Mediocre Stuff,” though!

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      2. I’ve got half-written stuff on old actors, kings you’ve never heard of and, lately… vampire bats. You seem to have a better idea of what you’ll want to keep. I usually imagine that inspiration will overwhelm me. Optimism…?

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      3. Hmm. Your stuff sounds decidedly less rubbish than the stuff I decide to discard. (Yesterday I discarded a limerick about a man who fixed his cat-hair-shedding problem by sewing brushes to gloves.. what??!)

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    1. A lot of people didn’t get the satire angle… making fun of the various moronic theories like Ancient Astronauts with just the worst proof…

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      1. I love that show though (not a believer) it’s basically a mental guy taking loads of statements out of context and blaming everything on aliens… I personally believe we were all made by one man in a week and he kicked back on Sunday…. at least there’s proof of that

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Published by masercot