How Can I Be a Trump Supporter?

If you can consider your soy bean farm successful, thanks to Trump, despite the fact that you aren’t making any money and someone else owns it, now.

You have to be able to believe that a man who attended Christian church for decades is a Muslim; and, a man who wouldn’t know a church if he foreclosed on one is a good Christian.

You have to think that the same man who forfeited on so many loans that he had to borrow from the Russian mob is going to get us out of debt.

You admire a good impersonation of reporters with degenerative muscular disorders.

You have to think of a man who fought for the country and was imprisoned and tortured for years is a traitor; and, one who spent the same war playing intramural sports with a “bone spur” is a great patriot.

You have to be comfortable with the fact that law enforcement, which Trump totally respects, is totally corrupt.

You have to believe a man who, by his own words, grabbed women “by the pussy” and has lied over a thousand times in the last year over women that claim he sexually assault them.

You have to be in favor of a stronger, wealthier Russia and North Korea…

You have to know in your heart that Trump’s children and in-laws are superior to those who actually know what they are doing.

You have to be able to sit through The Lord of the Rings and, when it is over, say, without a trace of irony, “Well, there were fine people on both sides”…