Vegetarianism can be traced back to Pythagoras, who only ate bread, veggies and a little honey. It didn’t catch on because people weren’t aware of the strong link between being a mathematician and being a nutritional scientist.
Vegetarianism can also lead to weight-loss, which might be some comfort considering that you will no longer be enjoying food.
An all vegetable diet often results in a B-12 deficiency because that particular vitamin can only be found naturally in the tears of veal calves.
One of the biggest advantages to an all vegetable diet is you won’t have to listen to sanctimonious vegetarians tell you how to live and eat.
Some doctors recommend switching to a vegetarian diet gradually. If planned properly, you’ll be a full-fledged vegetarian just about the time that you die.
You might encounter a lack of protein, iron, vitamin D and zinc with an all-vegetable diet; but, you will definitely have all the smug self-satisfaction that you’ll ever need.
Hitler was a vegetarian. I’m not saying that all vegetarians are genocidal, drug-addicted lunatics; but, that’s how the rest of us perceive them…
Being a vegan takes a lot of self-control and will power… not nearly as much self-control as those of us who have to listen to them have developed.
If vegetarians really wanted to end meat-eating, they’d start eating carnivores until there were none left to eat meat.
It takes eighteen times more water to raise beef than it does to raise the same mass of corn. But corn selfishly drinks the water and you never see it again; with cows, you get most of the water back in the form of urine and that foamy slobber that forms in the corner of their mouths…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Ok but are we talking vegetarians or vegans?? There is a big difference you know
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I only allude to vegans once in that list. I don’t consider them interchangeable but equally annoying…
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My dad’s a vegan 😑
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My son’s a vegetarian…
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I fluctuated between the two for years – happy to be a chewing down some meat again.
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Early in my adult life, I noticed that I’d become a vegetarian. I stayed one until I started craving the greasiest possible hamburgers… and never looked back…
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Hahaha – same thing here. I wasn’t eating a lot of meat and made a conscious decision to just drop it. Then I became allergic to dairy, so I went for the gusto – became vegan. And then…..I was cooking…..meat was involved…..yada yada yada – I never looked back. BUT it did take me a good month to come clean to my family (I was a closet meat eater that entire time!) I blew my youngest sons mind. He had the hardest time wrapping his mind around the idea. He still says things like “Mommy doesn’t eat vegetables anymore. She only eats meat.”
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I don’t know if we develop food allergies later in life or we just notice them, but I’ve had a few foods that I really like and can no longer eat. Oddly enough… all vegetables…
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I’m not a vegetarian though I like vdgetables. It’s hard to be a picky eater when we could barely afford food during my childhood…
I think that many more can appreciate them if they are not so annoying.
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Hilarious! Thank you.
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I appreciate you reading it.
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Human, Homo sapiens, brain became so well developed over time because eating meat containing many proteins!
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Plus, we wore their pelts. Try doing that with a beet or ear of corn…
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I think my favorite was that vegetarians ought to try to eat all the carnivores. 🙂
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I try to include at least one recursive if I can…
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I’m a vegetarian not because I love animals, but because I hate plants.
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I would’ve loved to have heard that before I made that list, Jack…
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