When I say that Lisa Loeb is the Antichrist, I’m not saying that she’s the evil opposite of Jesus Christ. I’m just saying that she will actively bring about the destruction of the world…
I’m done with women because I’ve been burned so many times before… most recently when a lady threw her coffee at me.
I tried to write free-verse poetry, but I had difficulty not coming up with a rhyme when I didn’t need one.
I hate shampooing my rug… so, I usually just bring it to a dog groomer and tell them it’s a “Shag Poodle”.
I never knew what I could accomplish until I tried. Turned out it wasn’t much but at least now I know…
I know that I shouldn’t condemn the victim; but, perpetrators tend to be pretty nuts.
The book ended predictably, like they all do… on the last page…
Depressed people don’t fear death because it’s what we’ve been training for our whole lives.
If anyone knows of one, I need a way to kill mildew and make it look like an accident.
She was SO into me. She told me that she’d be anything I wanted her to be. I asked her to be a refrigerator. It went downhill from there. Moral: Don’t make promises you cannot keep…
Wanna hear a mythology joke? Jason was the first victim of the fake Medea. Oh, you said, “No”? Tough.
Which people are best at compartmentalizing? That would be those researching the most humane method of executing criminals.
Turns out, killing someone with kindness CAN be illegal. Being cruel to be kind is still okay if the cruelty is mostly humiliation and a safe-word is involved.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Compartmentalization? I’m an accountant remember? Need I say anymore? 😊
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No. Accountants should talk to others as little as possible…
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Is that why I’m so lonely at work, I swear some of the others avoid me. 🙂
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I experience the same thing. They are just jealous of our talent.
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only a cold blooded blogger will choose refrigerator for roleplay
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I just wanted to see her simulate a crisper drawer…
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it went downhill before or after you told her this?
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It went downhill after I told her that I wanted her to be a sled…
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Fake Medea! That made me snort….
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It’s about time I got a snort out of you!
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They’re not pretty.
I try to hold them in reserve until I find a truly superior post…
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My friends seemed to like the free verse poetry one best. I can’t tell because, after you stare at something long enough, you don’t know if it is funny anymore. Kind of like looking at a word you always write and suddenly wondering if it is spelled correctly…
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This whole list had me smiling – fun read!
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Well, you’ve been on vacation, so you’re in a good mood already, Robyn…
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That is true – although I think I would like this one any day. I will have to wait until I am home and really grouchy and pull this one up again to see if it REALLY DOES bring a smile to my face 🙂
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That would be helpful. Thanks!
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You are very funny and very quotable. In fact, I may paste one of your original sayings on my FB timeline to share. Let me think about it.
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You are welcome to do so. I’d be flattered.
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I went to read a blog and only found random words
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Well, try putting those words in a different order. I can’t do everything for you…
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So many things to think about there. Where do I start???
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I usually start at the end. That way, there is less to do, overall…
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That’s an excellent point.
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