Your bed-sheets look like the Shroud of Turin…
You friends can tell, with great accuracy, which chair you were sitting in… a week after you sat in it.
You are given a hazmat suit and asked to wear it inside out…
You find a truffle growing in your navel.
After your dog licks you for a while, it gets “full”.
Your spouse will only have sex with you if the two of you are in separate rooms.
Your underwear has to be removed in pieces.
Your lover can write “PLEASE WASH ME” on your back with her finger.
You smell like nothing… I don’t mean you haven’t got an odor; but, WHAT you smell LIKE cannot be identified.
Your hair is not greasy because lice are eating all the oils in it.
People you sit next to on the bus move to a different seat… on a different bus… in a different city.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
haha all well thought out points, difficult to choose a favorite.
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I practice these on a message board. I managed to get six thought out so I decided to make it a whole column…
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Reminds me of my dog 😊
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Dogs are filthy and disgusting and we love them anyway… THAT’S charisma!
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Mine came home from her walk smelling like cow manure 😐
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They LOVE that stuff…
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Human navels are an under utilized growing medium. Think of all the crops we could be harvesting there….
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Amber waves of grain!
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Think of the rental opportunities it would bring….
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I tried that but the government ended up paying me NOT to grow corn in my navel… which was good because the aphids were eating me alive…
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Yes, there’s that. I’ve also found Eau De Monsanto’s Roundup is not a cologne conducive to romance…
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I saw the title and started giggling. Couldn’t wait to read. They are all good – I especially liked, “After your dog licks you for a while, it gets “full”.” and the PLEASE WASH ME 🙂 So funny!
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You always pick the ones that I’m worried aren’t strong enough, Robyn. Obviously, I thought they were good enough to publish, but maybe I don’t have my finger on the pulse of the public…
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Navel truffles are the best!!!
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Just don’t tell your guests where they came from…
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After your dog licks you for a while, it gets “full”. LMAO
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Thanks for reading one of my humble lists…
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By far one of your best lists!
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Thanks! I doubt you are prone to superlatives…
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Superlatives, no, but I do lie a lot.
Seriously though, I usually try and pick one from your list to comment on but it was impossible to pick just one from this list. Have you considered publishing a collection of your lists?
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Don’t tell anybody, but I’m working on a parody of mystery novels…
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I really like what I’ve read of Moosehead. I need to go back and read it all from the beginning again though.
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You have just ruined my weekend. I work at an airport with many bargain passengers. Maybe I will put some Vick’s under my nose…
I once dated a guy that smelled of fresh air – every part of him smelled of fresh air. Never been so intimidated by my own natural odors and dumped him.
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If you were outdoors, he might’ve just been a hologram…
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Unfortunately we were in a 3D bed…
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So, it was almost as if you were there, eh?
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Almost. 😁
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Of all your posts, this one disgusted me most. 😀
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Then, my job is complete!
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