When Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, he left the names of the two nations blank so that, if the American Revolution fizzled out, he could sell the document to Ireland.
A big part of celebrating how independent we are is buying hundreds of millions of dollars worth of fireworks from China.
Only two of our founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence on July fourth. The reason we celebrate on the fourth of July is because of the fact that it also falls on Independence Day.
Independence Day was not a paid federal holiday until 1938, after our government was entirely sure that the British weren’t going to come over here and force us back into the U.K..
Three presidents have died on the fourth of July: Two from illness and one after grabbing a fireworks mortar and telling someone nearby to “hold my beer”…
The British celebrated our independence in 1814 by burning down the White House.
On the Fourth, Americans eat around 150 million hot dogs. To give you an idea how much that is, if you were to start dumping that many hot dogs into the Grand Canyon, at the rate of a hundred every second, someone would try to stop you pretty quickly.
New Englanders have a tradition, besides cheating at football, of eating salmon and peas on the Fourth of July. Historians agree that you shouldn’t dump those into the Grand Canyon, either.
The Liberty Bell cracked because it wasn’t cast properly, foreshadowing American workmanship in the twenty-first century.
Our Founding fathers celebrated Independence Day with fireworks because, it was their opinion that ten fingers was too much for any man…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I want to be on USA so badly
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With their interesting choice over hot dogs, the New Englanders sound more like French
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New Englanders are a bland and joyless people…
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This might be a risky generalization, like all generalizations are. But I wont know, New Englanders forget salmons and prove Charles wrong.
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I kid, because one of my readers is from Maine…
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I thought you celebrated with fireworks so you always had the opportunity to blow trumps head off. It appears I was wrong
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No… but if something goes horribly wrong with one of the tanks he’s using as a prop, it won’t ruin my day.
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😊 Tragedy, always a good outcome. Its like kicking your neighbours cat but only better
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My comments wouldn’t go through yesterday – hopefully this one does. Laughed a lot at “Two from illness and one after grabbing a fireworks mortar and telling someone nearby to “hold my beer”…” and “The Liberty Bell cracked because it wasn’t cast properly, foreshadowing American workmanship in the twenty-first century.” Fun read 🙂
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Thank you, Robyn. I’m usually a week early or a week late for the holidays… but, this time I landed right on one…
I hope you enjoy your Fourth!
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You too!
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Congrats on being right on time.
I only know one July 4th quote, by the late Red Skelton:
“He who drinks a fifth on the Fourth rarely come forth on the Fifth.”
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You don’t remember Red Skelton, do you?
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Are you talking to me or Robyn? I definitely remember Red Skelton (Did I spell it right?) – watching his show every week when I was a kid. I got a lot of July 4th mileage out of that joke.
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So, you remember Freddy the Freeloader and the crows? I was a kid, too… I only remember not getting most of the jokes and my dad laughing a lot. Same with the Dean Martin Show…
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Oops, I’m showing my age, and yours, which is slightly younger, I suspect. Yes, I remember Freddie the Freeloader. I also remember a few jokes that would be extremely politically incorrect these days. I remember when a brand new rock ‘n’ roll group called the Rolling Stones were his guests. When introducing them, he said they were going to go far, and added, “Wait’ll you see them. They make the Beatles look like they’ve got crew cuts.” Weird what one remembers … and forgets.
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Things have not changed much, eh?
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How come history was never this much fun in school?
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The lies they taught you in school are less funny than the ones we can make up…
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Hold my beer has always been a dangerous phrase…
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Right along the lines of, “Did you ever see anyone do… THIS–ouch!”
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You should definitely teach history.
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I home-schooled my boys and taught history like that… now my oldest explains history to people that way…
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