The Titanic Gives Me a Sinking Feeling

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The Titanic was built for less than ten million dollars. It took two hundred million dollars to make the movie. You do the math. Yes, there is math… I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d FREAK OUT like you always do…

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The Titanic was nearly as long as three football fields. Unlike the Titanic, football fields don’t drag hundreds of people down to their deaths… unless it is in Florida and the football field is built over the inevitable sinkhole.

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The Titanic had room for over sixty lifeboats, but only carried twenty because they were pretty sure that some of the passengers were going to bring their own.

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On its maiden voyage, the Titanic left from Belfast, Ireland… Many of the passengers considered the sinking to be a small price to pay to leave Ireland.

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No one knows how many people died in the disaster. They DO know how many survived and how many passengers there were, but NO ONE TOLD THEM THERE’D BE MATH.

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The band played while the ship sank to calm the doomed remaining passengers which, surprisingly, was not the worst gig they’d ever had…

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The Titanic was four hundred miles from land when it sank… unless you count the land at the bottom of the ocean…

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A month after the Titanic sank, a silent movie on the sinking of the Titanic was released, starring one of the survivors, Dorothy Gibson. A German movie on the disaster was released a few months later, with more serial killers and madness than the first movie.

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At the time, the Titanic was the world’s largest cruise ship… and, for a few hours, also the largest passenger submarine.

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The anchor of the Titanic was the largest anchor of its time. It took twenty horses to transport it and it took thirty horses to organize the bake sale to pay for it.

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