Kites are great for getting outside on a beautiful, slightly windy, spring day and showing all those around you just how much of a dork you are.
There is no reason why box kites should be able to fly; therefore, they are a tool of the devil. Others tools of the devil include the scythe and the exploding socket wrench set.
Kites have been around for more than ten thousand years; in fact, there’s a painting of someone flying a kite in a cave in Indonesia. How he was able to fly a kite in a cave still baffles kite-historians.
The sport of kite-fighting is important because it shows us the limit of how stupid something can be and still be considered a sport.
Fly a kite to simulate walking a pet eagle so you can see if you want one before you go to the pet store and buy one.
Kites are a fine way to teach a child about drag, lift and how to apply first aid after his father falls out of a spruce tree.
Kites are a little better than Frisbees because vegan hippies don’t fly kites.
If you want to be absolutely sure that a falling kite will hit its desired target, just make the desired target your face.
In seventh century China, flaming kites were used to defeat the enemy because the enemy knew, if they were crazy enough to burn their OWN kites, they wouldn’t hesitate to burn theirs.
The Wright brothers used kites in their creation of the airplane. Obviously, kites lack a place for people of normal size to comfortably sit; so, they still aren’t much different than modern airlines.