I wouldn’t want to be a special envoy because the other envoys might get jealous and maybe vandalize my truck.
My mom always liked me best but covered up for it by spending all her time playing with and complimenting my siblings.
Ever notice that astronauts don’t get arrested a lot for murder, rape and robbery? So, if we made EVERYONE an astronaut, we could reduce crime considerably…
Doctors put me in a medically-induced coma for three days… they still won’t tell me why…
Hippies in an old Disney movie are exactly like what you’d think a hippy would be like if you only observed one from a distance and you never ever heard him speak.
It’s hard to hate anyone who is cleaning your oven.
My theory is that, if I eat enough cheap hot dogs, by the end of my life I’ll have eaten an entire raccoon…
I’m sorry that they discontinued the diving horse act that you used to see at fairs. If horses don’t learn how to jump off a high dive, how will they impress the mares at the swimming pool?
We were like two ships that passed in the night except ships don’t usually throw their drinks in other ships’ faces… A boat might…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Well that was reassuringly odd 🧐
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Think I need a week off?
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No. I’ll miss you 🙁
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Thank you for ruining hot dogs for me from now on. Now I know why the doctor induced the coma…
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I’m shocked that you live in Maine and have reservations about eating a raccoon…
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We feed them in the backyard. It just seems rude after that…
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My mom had a battle of wits with a raccoon that was taking from her vegetable garden. Not only did it avoid the traps, it managed to also get the bait…
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Fun read! “My mom always liked me best but covered up for it by spending all her time playing with and complimenting my siblings.” and “My theory is that, if I eat enough cheap hot dogs, by the end of my life I’ll have eaten an entire raccoon…” were my favorites 🙂
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I told a woman I work with the one about the hotdogs and I got a lecture on how bad hotdogs are for you. Then, I told her that I ate six of them over the weekend. 🙂
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That made me chuckle 🙂
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So true, except nave you noticed that female astronauts have been getting in trouble with the law over the years? There was Lisa Nowak a few years back, and now Anne McClain is in trouble.
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That’s why I didn’t mention “attempted kidnapping”…
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A couple raccoons recently trashed my tomato plants. I’ll be eating extra hot dogs in retaliation.
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Lol!
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