A female goat is called a “nanny”. A young attractive female goat is called an “au pair”…
Studies show that left-handed people die earlier, on average, than right-handed people. The primary reason for this is that left-handed people don’t live as long.
Dance is just your soul trying to express itself by crushing someone else’s foot.
The first four times I pointed out my wife’s stretch-marks, she was okay with it; but, the fifth time I did it, she flew off the handle like some kind of a nut. I blame numerology.
Her: “I hate when you contradict me. I’ll bet the next thing you say will contradict me, right?”
Me: “Splunge!”
I ordered a book on handwriting analysis. When it arrived by post, I had to sign for it. The deliverer looked down at my signature and told me I would never finish the book because I don’t close the top of my ‘o’s.
I’d really like to live in a color-blind society so I wouldn’t have to worry about my socks matching.
I used to wear my mom’s stockings over my head so I’d understand what it is like to be a leg.
If you live by the sword, you die by the sword. If you live by a Taco Bell, you die of morbid obesity.
If you are a bike courier, then every job that ISN’T bike courier is a promotion…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
But just think of the freedom of being a bike courier … and all those free trips to the hospital … and the bandages … and the scars. Women love scars.
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Do women love low-paid individuals prone to sudden and frequent fits of physical rage?
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Depends on the life insurance 🙂
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Hey Charles I need some help, so I sent you a detailed email explaining. 🙂
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The fact that you lived to tell the tale of your wife’s stretch marks show you lead a very charmed life…
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Well… we ARE divorced…
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Now it makes sense.
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I think we’re both happier. But, it was a 25 year marriage…
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I’ve given this a lot of thought, all’s I can say is…splunge?
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Great Monty Python sketch!
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It is!! My wife and I recently started watching the series from the beginning, which I had never done before, it’s good and silly. And now I can easily identify the Larch.
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Netflix is running it, I believe. First and second seasons were unbeatable…
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Yes! They seem to have the whole catalogue. Movies and live performances and that one German show. I wanted to cancel Netflix, but they’re keeping me hooked.
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Well, the next season of The Black List is coming soon… plus, my adult children use my password so I’m pretty much stuck…
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My mother-in-law uses mine, so I’m in the same boat.
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about ‘leg’ is sooooo absurd 🙂 😂 Ray like it… but as usual – hilarious post 💃💃💃
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Ray welcome to my site. Ray good writer. Why we talk like Tarzan?
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tarzan doesn’t talk ..he yells – u-lu-la-ting sound 🙂
and yeah, you are right. Ray is damn good to be true 🙂 that’s why he doesn’t exist 😂
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What first attracted me to your site was the allusion to Ray Bradbury…
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I’m switching to my left hand. This has all gone on far too long.
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Don’t do it! Besides having to buy a new baseball glove, you’ve got too much to live for!
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Good point. But it seems most of the time I tend to catch the ball with my face.
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Chicks dig scars no matter how you got them…
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If you enter The Terrible Poetry Contest and win, then all Debs who heckle you will have received their comeuppance…
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I’ve been kind of dry, creatively. I’m about to take a week off of this site. Tell no one…
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Whaaaat?
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My site…. not yours…
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This was lovely to reaad
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It was lovely to wriite.
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