Great Pyramid: It was meant to be a palace, but the builders noticed the walls sloping inwards and just continued building anyway. When it was completed, the Pharaoh looked it over and remarked, “I’ll die before I get into that thing”…
Colossus of Rhodes: A stunning sight, the bronze giant standing astride the harbor’s entrance and ships navigated between its legs; then, its testicles broke off crushing a merchant ship and essentially killing trade because no sailor wants to be dragged to the bottom of the sea by a giant metal scrotum.
Great Lighthouse: It worked well helping ships navigate; however, the bright light kept fish awake. The fish, agitated from lack of sleep and under the cover of darkness, raided nearby villages.
Hanging Gardens: Truly beautiful, until the Babylonian government announced that they would pay farmers NOT to grow crops. It was quickly changed into the Hanging Soil Containers of Babylon. Kind of depressing, I know… but not nearly as bleak as Euro-Disneyland…
Great Library: The largest library of its time. The legend is that the Roman’s destroyed it but, I believe that the head librarian burned it to the ground rather than stock Orson Scott Card’s Speaker for the Dead.
Statue of Zeus: Very much loved by the populace until the truth was revealed: Zeus did NOT pose for that statue.
Parthenon: Construction went along quickly and efficiently. Unfortunately, someone had confused the Doric columns with the Ionic columns setting off a chain of events that would eventually lead to the United States Civil War and the television show Cheers…
Stonehenge: An ancient calendar that the people ultimately rejected because it didn’t have pinup girls or kittens on it.
The Sphinx: The Sphinx is what happens when you hire a sculptor to create a stone lion when he’s never seen a lion in his life. You have to admit, he comes pretty close… until he gets to the head; then, he just improvises. I doubt that, in the end, anyone had to pay for it. Lessons learned on both sides…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
You forgot the GIANT GALAH. No lessons learnt, just eternal pain. Kind of like taking knitting lessons with Tom Cruise 🤐
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I looked up what the Giant Galah is… Impressive, but not ancient, sadly…
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Showing your age there Charles. 🙂
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More so than usual?
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Stonehenge was a bit useless really. If you’re going to make a calendar, at least have some semblance of portability…
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I know, right? And, the holidays weren’t even marked in red…
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Giant bronze testicles means there was a giant bronze member as well? The ancient townsmen probably tore the Colossus down due to a serious case of envy.
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Well, maybe you can explain the thinking behind making an entire city of men feel inadequate…
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Easy. The sculptor was a woman…
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So, she was a “sculptress”?
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I’m learning so much about history from you!
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And, some of it is even possibly true…
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I laughed out loud at: “When it was completed, the Pharaoh looked it over and remarked, “I’ll die before I get into that thing”…” And on the Colossus one I thought, “wait, really?” So, I looked it up – that thing was huge! And honest to gosh, I started typing “Did Zeus not pose…..” and THEN the joke hit me, and I hit delete, delete, delete, delete 🙂 At least I caught myself before Google had record of me asking that!
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Yeah… but Google KNOWS you intended to type that, Robyn…
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I was sold by the Pharaoh’s ominous remark 😂😂😂
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Thanks! That was the first one I came up with, which gave me hope I could come up with nine more…
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You started with a bang 😉
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I shudder to think what would have happened if Corinthian columns were put in as well…
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That could’ve ended civilization as we know it…
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