A fireplace can be a wonderful addition to any home that can benefit from open fires in the living area. The entire family can gather around, roast marshmallows, hot dogs or just throw in a few aerosol cans for an impromptu game of “hairspray chicken”.
A flue allows smoke to escape up through the chimney. Open it if you are starting a fire; or, close it, start the fire to test every smoke detector in your home all at once.
If you own more than one fireplace and you decide you want a fire in the other location, simply move the fire from one to the other using a wheel barrow and asbestos gloves.
Keep your chimney clean to keep Santa Claus from keying your car.
Keep your fireplace swept clean or creosote deposits can catch fire and burn down your fireplace.
Glass screens are decorative and can keep sparks and kittens from getting out of the fireplace.
Not being able to start a fire does not indicate that you are less of a man… just that you are an ineffectual wimp.
Tinder helps in starting a fire, especially if you download a book to it on starting fires.
Throwing various salts into the flames can produce different colors, creating a romantic environment that can last up until you’ve turned the television on.
Fireplace wood needs to sit for a while to “season”. During that time, the wood dehydrates and gets depressed so that anything you do to it is okay with it…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
A post of fires … mmmm not feeling it 🤐
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I’ll bet you’re not. How’s it going in your neck of the woods?
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Fires are slowly getting less, I think there’s about 127 burning in NSW currently but we’ll survive 🙄
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Last the best of all the game, plus the one about Tinder. 🙂
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Sometimes I end with a bang… other times, I break out the whimpers…
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😀 😀
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Tinder can start a roaring fire …especially if your wife finds out.
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I was actually rejected by Tinder because I look too much like Sharon Stone…
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Hairspray chicken. The game you really don’t want to win.
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I used to live out in the country and we burned our trash. The high point was when we had an old aerosol can to throw away. It was the rural Florida equivalent of fireworks…
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Yikes! And here I thought you were kidding….
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I’ve lived a colorful life…
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Definitely the last and hairspray chicken 🙂
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You’ve never played hairspray chicken?
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You know, I never have. We’re not fireplace people., There was a rumor of a game of hairspray chicken that got out of control at the neighbors so we had ours capped 🙂
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Probably for the best, Robyn…
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My husband is rebuilding our fireplace as I write. I forwarded this to him. He will either think it’s funny or stop all work out of spite.
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It’s nice to know I have that kind of power. When I’m home, even the blue jays push me around…
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As the punster said to the fireplace, YOU’RE FIRED!
Or was it the other way around? I have no flue — I mean clue. Boo.
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“Boo” doesn’t even begin to cover it…
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