A coworker I am fond of told me that she was having surgery, the next day. I didn’t ask any questions about it… not because I am an unfeeling sociopath (the usual reason), but because the probable answer was “vagina”.
Yeah, it’s a jarring word. Men don’t like hearing it and women don’t like saying it to them. But, ask a man what his surgery is and ninety-five percent of the time the answer does NOT involve his genitals. The surgeon may have to go IN through his genitals and that is no picnic; ask a woman, on the other hand, what her surgery is and ninety-five percent of the time it is her vagina. So, either she tells the truth because truth is good, will set you free, is out there and has something to do with Grecian urns; or, she lies, we all breathe a sigh of relief and we can go on with our lives.
I have a theory that my mother has NEVER had a gall bladder nor a spleen removed. She just felt uncomfortable saying the word “vagina” over the phone and across state lines. I think at one point in our history, that was a federal crime and also something people did on a Saturday night when the fireflies weren’t out.
But, women fought hard for their right to talk about their lady parts. Sometimes, in the form of protests; other times, in the form of a tennis match, such as the dust-up between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs in 1973. Riggs was a vocal male chauvinist and King was a feminist. The only common ground they shared was that oxygen was a good thing and that Miller Lite tasted great and was less filling (Come to think of it, that last one was probably a paid endorsement). Anyway, Riggs “triggered” Ms. King by “trolling” about the inferiority of women. They didn’t use the term “trolling” back in the seventies; but, the phrase “being an asshole” usually sufficed. King beat Riggs in straight sets despite her being a lesbian.
Well, at that point, the heavens opened up and God herself came down and passed the Equal Rights Amendment. Just kidding… after over forty years, the amendment has yet to pass. But, not because men don’t want women to have equal rights. It goes far deeper than that: Unisex bathrooms.
That’s right. Some of the greatest legal minds of our time took a nap while idiots determined, and wanted you to panic about, men and women forced to use the same restrooms. It’s a ridiculous fear but, as a man, I think it would be an improvement. Women’s bathrooms are cleaner, smell better and often have a sofa or loveseat. If men and women shared bathrooms, women would have to go out to the parking lot to talk to their friends about us. If you were dating a woman and having a delightful conversation, you could continue the conversation in the bathroom… maybe even stall to stall if it is a Mexican restaurant… It’s an intimacy I’m ready for… eager for… to ask my date, frankly and sincerely,
“So, what kind of surgery ARE your having?”…
Do you really want an answer to that question?
LikeLiked by 1 person
What’s funny is, I decided to ask her yesterday after I wrote this. She simply replied, “Cyst”. Very diplomatic…
LikeLike
That was diplomatic. Infection of the scrotum. Heard that one before 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think scrotum is possibly the most awful word in existence.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Couldn’t agree more 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
[crosses legs] Oh?
LikeLike
Someone’s forgetting “pustule”…
LikeLiked by 1 person
How are you with vulva?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great European car!
LikeLiked by 3 people
(Robin Williams, “Nine Months.”)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I once volunteered to clean the AmVets hall men’s bathroom. I still have nightmares.
*shudder*
LikeLiked by 1 person
Women’s restrooms are (what was the word?) cleaner???
Uhh, what perfect world are you from?
LikeLiked by 1 person
What women’s bathrooms have you been in?
LikeLike
I’ve been in several; back in school a few times when the boys room was having repairs and (years later) when I was doing some janitorial work.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My first time was when my girlfriend had an ulcer attack in a restaurant and I was worried about her, so I barged in, after checking for other women, o’ course. After I got in there, I realized the universe didn’t collapse on itself… so I do it all the time now… between court appearances, of course…
LikeLike
See, I thought “moist” was the most hated word out there (and I must say I hate the word “panties” (They’re underwear, people!!)) but when it comes down to it, the words are hated because they are associated with VAGINAS! You’re good – you picked up on that root right away!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well… I DO live in Virginia…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the morning laughs 😆!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Doree!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Women’s bathrooms are cleaner, smell better.” Exactly why women don’t want to share them.
When our church had a big women’s conference and the men’s rooms were opened up for the women, one dear janitor added potpourri, set vases of flowers by the sinks, and put potted plants in the urinals. (I assume that ISN’T what men’s rooms are usually like?)
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can guess what the men’s bathrooms smell…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you even allowed to post pornographic images on WP?
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ll never find out through me… I’m not a prude but I don’t like to shock…
LikeLike
I’m all for sharing bathrooms. Why don’t men just sit to pee… sure would keep the place cleaner!
Words…. my three year old granddaughter asked me if I had a “bagina.” We need to use these words….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Men need to stand when they pee just for the sporting aspect of it…
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣🤔🤣🤦♀️🤣🤦♀️🤣🤔🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have a household of boys. All of our bathrooms bear a natural musk.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So did we. We peed with the door open until the kids were eleven…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You did not.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! Lol. I’ve 3 boys 10 13 yr old are completely open to discussing anything even how the poop splashes water round his bum and he hates that! 16 year won’t discuss anything… Even the need for razors lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah… I’ve got two boys and I definitely remember when my oldest clammed up. He didn’t even want to be seen with his shirt off. Sadly, he’s over that, now…
LikeLiked by 2 people