Wheaties uses athletes to sell itself because every dietician recommends athletes get more wheat in their diet…
“Wheaties” is the laziest cereal name in the history of cereal and in the history of names. It’s as if the boss came in, told them to come up with a great name for a wheat cereal, and they came up with “Wheaties” before the boss even got to the parking lot.
In 2006, Wheaties had a commemorative box depicting the showdown between Texas A&M and the University of Texas at Austin despite the fact that neither were real football teams or real colleges…
Wheaties is the only cereal that gets soggy BEFORE you add the milk.
Wheaties-sponsored radio launched the career of Ronald Reagan… actually, it was less a launch and more just tipping it over and hoping you don’t get much on you…
On television in the fifties, Wheaties were advertised by Champy, a dread-locked transsexual lion puppet who convinced children that Wheaties were “full of food energy” and each flake had a “whole kernel of wheat”. I like to think that puppet is resting comfortably in a burning lake in Hell.
Wheaties’ tagline was “The Breakfast of Champions”; this was a vast improvement over the old tagline, “The Breakfast of Violent Sexual Sadists”…
Mary Lou Retton WAS the first female spokesperson for Wheaties until Bruce Jenner retroactively became the first after his operation in 2017.
Wheaties were discovered accidentally when someone spilled wheat gruel on a hot stove. The resulting flakes “tasted better than gruel” which can only be said for every other food.
One of the early Wheaties boxes had Jesse Owens on the front. Unfortunately, sales were not good because the box had to be put on a separate but equal shelf in the grocery store.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Don’t even get me started on Wheatena – which is a whole other ugly animal.
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Been there… eaten that…
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Whatever doesn’t kill us – makes us stronger mantra?
A lifetime imunity? No, I’m less because I survived.
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Ever eat Ralston or Malt o’ Meal?
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I like weetbix. You have to butter them and coat them in sugar. No milk though. Yum
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Wheaties are far far worse…
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You’re just jealous cos we can but butter and sugar on weet bix 😦
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I was already jealous that you had Vegamite…
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I’m proud to say I’ve never tried them.
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Chicken!
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Is that what it tastes like?
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It’s like Raisin Bran without the reward of raisins…
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Although…. heavy bran usage comes with its own reward.
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Wheaties is a lazy name. It makes me think of the Spiderman theme song – another lazy writer there too: “Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can….”
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Or the Liberty Mutual Insurance theme: “Liberty, liberty, liiiiiberty!”
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Yes, but don’t forget the LiMu Emu. Classic Madison Avenue right there…
😳
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That last one just might get you sent the way of Champy -whom, by the way, I thought you made up!
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Did you look up Champy in Youtube?
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Yes!
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until Bruce Jenner retroactively became the first after his operation in 2017…LOL!
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Mary Lou!!!! Wheaties are gross.
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Gluten free wheaties
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