I consider myself a slave to fashion. I don’t mind so much having to keep up with what clothes are considered “in”; however, I do dislike the forced servitude and the lashings.
I’d quit Twitter except I feel that I’m just THIS close to convincing the rest of the world to adopt my political views.
I will never get on my knees for anyone because I am a man, autonomous and proud; plus, I find that once I get down there, it can take a few minutes to get back to my feet.
My friend is a paranoid schizophrenic and really out of shape so I hired a private investigator to follow him around just to give him a work out.
There is no ‘I’ in “team”. There’s an ‘I’ in “whirl” but what good does that do “team”?
War has never been a long-term solution for anything; on the other hand, peace has never been a long-term solution for anything.
I was reading a play by T. S. Eliot and I noticed there were asterisks all over the page. Turned out, someone had used the book the kill some spiders.
I pulled a groin muscle trying to push my way through a crowd. The police got involved because it wasn’t my groin muscle I pulled…
You cannot call another man a racist just because he believes in a strong police department and prays to the ghost of Adolf Hitler.
It’s been explained to me, but I still don’t know what the difference is between a horse and a “horse-like substance”…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Keep twitter until something better comes along … like twotta 😊
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Watching for it!
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I am a member of the safety committee team, at work.
So… “I” in “Team”
But at the end of the day the word “team” has actually been spelt wrong (thanks to “The Man”) since day one.
It’s supposed to be “teiam”.
As you notice “I” is/am in the middle – always has been (not to be confused with a “has-been” – always “will-be”. …not (uhhh) a wallaby?
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So, the ‘i’ is silent… if it knows what’s good for it…
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We all know by now *or should* – the “I” won’t be denied, AND is never silent.
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Notice there is an ‘m’ and an ‘e’ in team. And, they don’t draw attention to themselves…
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You really need to stop groping strangers groins. Leave that to the politicians who can get away with it.
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It’s technically not groping if my eyes are closed…
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Gripping, groping…. you should still leave it to the trained professionals.
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I laughed out loud and then tried to right my karma by saying, “that’s terrible” (although still smiling) about your friend who is out of shape 🙂
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Thanks, Robyn. I was worried that one might fall flat…
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I’ve been on Twitter for five years now, very occasionally it’s been fun….
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Rage isn’t fun, Joanne?
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Lovely, they are all just lovely. If I laughed at them all, does that say something about me 😬😊?!
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It says we share the same sense of humor and shame on you.
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I’ll take it.
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Now I know why horse radish tastes like nag manure….it’s the same difference as turning “substance” abuse into pun abuse.
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Make sure the PI also reminds your friend they know where he lives, so if he forgets his workout shoes, the PI can get them real quick!
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I guess, indirectly, he works for my friend, too…
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