Your resume is scribbled on the back of a Dove Bar wrapper.
At the point in your interview where the recruiter asks if YOU have any questions, you respond with, “Oh, you’ve been talking to ME?”
You list Hackey-Sack as one of your skills.
You call your interviewer, “Ted”, despite the fact that she’s clearly named “Eleanor”…
When you are asked if you are bilingual, you answer that your sexual leanings are your own business.
When asked why you left your last job, you reply that you were too “real”…
Your only question about the company’s health plan is, “Do you cover in-patient psychiatric care?”
You listed one of your hamsters as a character reference.
When told there will be a background investigation, you say, “No problem” and then change the name and SSN on the job application.
When asked for an example of showing initiative at work, you tell them about the time that you cleaned out your desk ahead of time when you heard you were going to be fired.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Oh, this is so motivating. 😘
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Are you still looking? With Covid, it’s gotta be tough…
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I start next Wednesday. 🙃
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HEY, Cool, Deb! They won’t regret it…
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That damn hamster cost me a promotion as well. And to think I fixed his squeaky wheel…
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They aren’t ungrateful… they just have short memories…
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This is all very useful information for me to take in before I start on the job hunt. I laughed at a meme I saw the other day that goes with this. It said: “So in retrospect, in 2015 not a single person got the answer right to, “where do you see yourself five years from now.” Made me laugh 🙂 .
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That is funny… and a little sad…
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My hamster is a good judge of character thank you very much!
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You shouldn’t be able to list anyone you can bribe with sunflower seeds…
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OMG! Bring me back to the day when my resume was nothing but lies and made up references! Well, you have to break the cycle the system puts on you somehow…
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Personally, I had skills you could not imagine. Now, they give you a test before hiring you…
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LOL!
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Looks like they should give politicians a test PRIOR to them running for election. All the employer test are racists by the way, skewed toward…well, you know.
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I think they should at least know how a bill becomes law, what an executive order is and how the supreme court works…
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I’ve already got the job I want — I’m retired (though I’m not sure my boss — I mean, my wife — appreciates all the time I spend laying down on the job).)
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Reminds me of a George Carlin routine: “What does a dog do on his day off? He can’t lie around because THAT’S HIS JOB”
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Hacky sack is a real skill, yo.
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I’m terribly sorry, bruh!
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