A dozen people from your last mask-less get-together went to the hospital and it had nothing to do with the salmon mousse.
Your Secret Service code name is “The Plague Rat”.
Suicidal teenagers run up to you and lick your forehead.
Masks you give out at your events aren’t compliant with CDC guidelines and are imaginary.
Vultures circle your rallies.
Before anyone can attend one of your speeches, they have to sign a document stating that they will not sue you, nor will they haunt you after death.
Your underlings give you the nickname “UNCLEAN!”…
Congress passes a law requiring you to ring a bell as you enter a populated area.
The grim robed figure of Death gets tired of following you around so you start car pooling with him…
Your wife stops sleeping with you but for a totally different reason than why she wasn’t sleeping with you before covid…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Oh pointed like cupid’s arrow … If it was an arrow of death and despair 😀
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Hard to feel anything but, lately, Deb. But, my oldest boy is with me for a week so far, so that’s nice…
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That is nice. Make him a sundae. They always make me smile 😊
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Coincidentally, I asked him what he wanted when I went to the grocery store and he replied, “Ice cream”
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I think the bell is just a way to let all the suicidal teenagers know you have entered the populated area. A “heads up! I’m here! Come get your lick on!” so to speak.
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They say that his forehead tastes of carrots…
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Interesting. Maybe a little stewy….
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Like an old can of Dinty Moore?
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Okay this is brilliant and should be republished in the NY Times.
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Or at least adapted into a mini-series…
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What the hell is this “COVID” you speak of?
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Sorry, spell check… I meant, “coved”…
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*cough* cabal *cough*
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Circling vultures is never a good sign. Even when it’s over a Golden Corral buffet…
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I think there are things even a vulture won’t eat…
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That last one…
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Thanks for reading all the way to the end, Chelsea. I can barely write all the way to the end…
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Whatever. These were nice and short.
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You could also be a Covid 19 super-spreader if you kissed Trump’s ass before he got “cured.” If you kiss it now, the worse you can get is a serious shit infection (but it’s probably incurable).
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Like a staph infection, eh?
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