[Don’t blame me. Deb and Robyn made me do this one]
I’m not sorry I finally screwed up the courage to tell your wealthy aunt what I thought of her. I AM sorry she was on the toilet when I did it…
♥
I’m not sorry I gave you my honest opinion of your latest poem; I AM sorry that I made fart-noises while you read it.
♥
I’m not sorry that I called the police on the kids who live next door; I AM sorry that I told the police that they were armed drug dealers with dynamite and flame-throwers.
♥
I am not sorry that I called you “too thin”; I AM sorry that I tried to feed you cake while you were asleep.
♥
I’m not sorry for worrying about you when you were two hours late; I AM sorry that I remarried during that period.
♥
I’m not sorry for calling you “flat-chested”; I AM sorry that I wrote an entire novel about how flat-chested you are.
♥
I’m not sorry for telling our children that they didn’t have to listen to you; I AM sorry that they extrapolated and stopped listening to me, as well…
♥
I’m not sorry for saying that your beagle was the ugliest thing I’d ever seen; I AM sorry that your beagle turned out to be your newborn daughter.
♥
I’m not sorry for anything I’ve ever done; I AM sorry that there have been consequences for those things.
♥
I’m not sorry that I corrected your grammar in front of other people; I AM sorry that I used a riding crop on you when I did it…
♥
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
You see, that wasn’t difficult at all and I’m not sure for suggesting it, though I AM sorry that I read it naked 😟
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Well, it IS spring where you are, Deb!
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It’s going to be 43 on the weekend 🧜🏽♀️
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Celsius???
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That. That is what’s wrong with my life… no one feeding me cake while I sleep.
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You’ve got to sleep with your mouth open… although, I wouldn’t if you’ve got mayflies in your home…
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*shakes head*
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That was great! I laughed out loud at the fart noises. For some reason, Rodney Dangerfield was making the fart noises in my head when I read that 🙂
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You have Rodney Dangerfield in your head? That does NOT sound safe, Robyn…
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I know there’s a good back story for why you were inspired by those two… in the meantime, these are hilarious.
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Deb said, “Now you should do I’m Not Sorry” and Robyn said that it sounded like a good idea. I can only handle so much peer pressure, Chelsea…
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😀 What would a hyper-intelligent genetically-mutated super spy do?
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I could actually put that into my Moosehead Stratagem as another character…
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I was going to post a clip of LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU’RE SORRY NOT SORRY, but apparently they cut the last two words from the film –not that I’m sorry, because I’m not…Sorry.
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I hated that movie so much that I set Ali McGraw’s house on fire… I’m sorry I did.
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😂😂
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