[Sorry. But, the only other thing I have is something on Bismuth]
A birthday cake made out of asbestos powder and cherry frosting.
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Comic book seconds: The heroes were all out of shape and unlikable. GenericMan fired a ray that stopped his opponents. What kind of ray? What ever kind you want.
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A meatloaf made from breadcrumbs and swan.
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A declining chair; just pull the lever on the side and it becomes shabby and quite old.
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A table made from partially reclaimed wood; other people had rights to a few square inches.
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A stress-ball made to look like a puppy.
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A puppy made to look like a stress-ball.
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A deep friar… meaning a monk who talked about philosophy and science a lot.
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Organic low-salt gluten-free ANYTHING.
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A book on the subject of nude photography, un-illustrated…
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Pajamas with horse bodies on them so if some mafiosi leaves a horse’s head next to me in bed, I can hold my pajamas up to it so I can trick myself into believing it is still in one piece.
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A special kitchen trash can just for crepes.
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A chess set where all the pawns looked like pennies and all the other pieces looked like pennies. I never did find a board.
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A kosher meat thermometer.
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A monkey’s paw with all the wishes used up.
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The gift of a child’s laughter… which I heard while I was being beaten by teenagers with golf clubs.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Nude book without illustrations… what a joke! Def the worst gift haha
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Books on nude photography were the internet of the eighties!
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At least you get presents Charles
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Are you saying that I am SPOILED???
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You got presents Charles 😛
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I’m an adult male. I either get power tools or gag gifts…
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That’s definitely the wrong kind of fryer.
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Plus, I was given my deep friar right before his vow of silence. It was pretty creepy.
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You should try that cake. I’m sure the cherry frosting will make it taste yummy.
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My big fear is that I’d develop a taste for it, Joanne…
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D’s new focus is all about stress toys and no lie, he just got a cat squishy ball this weekend. Yuu can make its whole head explode out and then pop it back in. Very relaxing! And the deep friar really cracked me up.
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I was going to do a “Science ‘B'” piece but I thought I’d spare you guys for a while, Robyn.
Is squishing a cat relaxing or just really satisfying?
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You know, when Declan uses any of his stress toys he says they are very satisfying. Although, when it comes to squishing a cat to makes the cat’s eyes bulge, “satisfying” could come across as a little sadistic. Especially when he calls the cat “so cute!”
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For Valentine’s Day, I’m going to give my wife a cookie jar, a cookie baking tin, box of cookie mix, and a box of my favorite cookies in case the cookies she makes leave something to be desired.. After I get home from the emergency room, I’ll let you know how it all panned out.
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How could a wife not love a man who addresses every contingency…?
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