Shetland ponies have been around since the Bronze Age; but, I doubt that they should get much credit for it.
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Shetland ponies live longer than horses… especially those ponies that have been around since the Bronze Age.
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In the United Kingdom, to be a Shetland Pony, you have to stand no more than forty-two inches in height; American Shetlands can be four inches taller and are far more likely to pull out a gun during a parking dispute.
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Shetland ponies were originally from Scotland; but, they moved to the Shetland Islands to get away from the soccer riots.
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In the mid-nineteenth century, England passed laws forbidding the use of women or children in the coal mines. To pick up the slack, Shetland ponies were used in the coal mines. This made them far more dangerous because the ponies learned they could tunnel plus they had a steady income.
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Shetland ponies are powerful creatures. They can pull up to twice their weight. A draft horse can only pull half its weight. So, if you had six horses and ponies total and together they could pull two-thirds their total weight, how many would be Shetlands? Show your work.
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Shetland ponies began to be exported to the United States to fill the need for subjects in algebraic word problems.
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Although naturally good swimmers, Shetland ponies are tragically poor cliff divers, as they found out in Acapulco in 1953.
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Farmers used Shetland ponies to pull plows; however, due to their small size, they could only plow fields set aside for baby corn and cherry tomatoes…
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Shetlands come in many colors; but, if one is born with dappling, like the markings on an Appaloosa, it is not considered a Shetland and is moved to the “factory-seconds” bin at the pony store.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
But they’re adorable 🥰
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Sure, until they build nests inside your walls and start eating your timbers…
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That’s drop bears and kitty kitty 🐈⬛
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When I was younger I used to ride horses and every now and again the instructor made me ride a Shetland pony. They are so small you shouldn’t be allowed to ride them but she made me. I felt so ridiculous. There is no comfortable posting trot on a Shetland, let me tell you. She was probably just laughing at me for her own fun. The plowing for baby corn and cherry tomatoes seems about right – little buggers!
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We only had two ponies. One was a cold calculated monster who’d wait for a chance to hurt any children unfortunate enough to get placed on its back. The other was a buck-eyed indian pony. That one was a good riding pony, but WAY bigger than a Shetland…
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The answer to your math question is 3 martinis.
But that’s my go to answer for every math problem. Cheers!
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I’ve never been that interested in ponies. I feel like I’m missing something…
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I think for young women they represent freedom of a sort…
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Shetland ponies may be powerful, but can they winnie when they pooh, like their constipated cousins, Shitland Ponies?
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More like Ap-poo-loosers…
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