I have no desire to dominate the world. I just want to destroy it.
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If I were pure evil, I’d have already indicated so on my Tinder profile.
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Given a choice between an act of altruistic good and unspeakable evil, I will always perform the act nearest to where my car is parked.
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Pure evil people have maps of the world in their studies with pins indicating their next target. I DO have a map in my study, but the pins indicate where the nearest Taco Bells are.
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Pure evil people have henchmen who break legs and blow up orphanages for evil purposes. Yes, I also have henchmen who break legs and blow up orphanages but mine do it for benevolent reasons.
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It must bother purely evil people to have no empathy but WHO cares what THEY think?
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The worst you can say about me is that I am amoral. I once rushed into a burning house to save three children but, while I was in the burning house, I dropped off two other children. On the whole, I’d say it ended positively by one child…
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If I were pure evil I’d know it because I’d be a lot more successful.
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The only evil I’ve ever aspired to being is a necessary evil like chard or brassieres.
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I WAS once pure evil but I got injured and had to get a blood transfusion from a Peace Corps worker. I was still pretty evil but I had a strong compulsion to dig wells in Africa.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
wonderful read
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Thank you!
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Is chard necessary? Is it really….
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Without it, children would never learn how unfair life is…
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On a scale of one to ten, where the scale is still intact on the rattlesnake, you would be a 4 Charles, and that’s only because you’re keeping Terse Llama in the basement where she’s studying the eradication of chipmunks quite diligently 😃
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Relax, Deb… Terse Llama is coming back next week.
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She is breaking out Charles.
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I let her out because my whole house was starting to smell like llama…
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I always loved the part in Perry Mason when the murderer would break down on the stand and say, “Yes, John Criley was an evil man. Yes, I hit him on the head with the candlesticks. And yes I took the body and threw it off a cliff. And then I poured six tons of stinking garbage on his broken bones and lit the garbage on fire…but I didn’t mean to kill him! You’ve got to believe me! It was an accident. I only meant to scare him!”
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Even as a kid I found that completely implausible. Ever see the old Warren William Perry Mason movies? He was more like Gardener’s Perry Mason…
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No never seen them. They sound like fun.
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A lot more fun than the Raymond Burr series. He’s kind of a cad, sometimes… but he’s always having fun. TCM will sometimes run one of them…
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