Rub two sticks together. Invariably, afterwards, one of the sticks lights up a cigarette while the other wants to spoon. Use the embers from that cigarette to start a fire.
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If you have car keys, use them to drive somewhere there are matches.
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If you have a gun and ammunition, take a bullet apart and put the gunpowder on your kindling. Fire the gun so that the flash lights the gunpowder. Remember: Fire the gun into the ground or at whoever forgot the matches.
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Bang two rocks together until somebody hands you a lighter to get you to stop.
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A magnifying lens can start a fire using the Sun’s rays. Check the ground and trees for magnifying lenses. Don’t see any? Well then… you’re done for, pal…
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If you have two pocket watches from before nineteen-fifty, you can hold the lenses together underwater to make a magnifying glass. Who carries two pocket watches from before nineteen-fifty? Anyone with a handlebar mustache riding one of those bicycles with one giant wheel in front.
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Flint and steel will easily start a fire. You can usually find flint and steel in your backpack next to the pocket watches and matches.
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Put an aluminum-foil hat on the tallest member of your party and then wait for lightning.
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A five-volt battery and some steel wool can create the sparks necessary to start a fire. You don’t have a five-volt battery and some steel wool? Well, what a disappointment you turned out to be…
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Scan the mountaintops for any phoenixes that seem like they are about to self-immolate.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
That’s really funny Charles. 😃
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Thanks, NP. My production has dropped off a little due to personal changes… but, I’ll be back to four days a week pretty soon.
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Well I love to see you post anytime and you know where you can reach me if you need to talk
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You saw my facebook page… it’s good news. But, it’ll take some adjustment…
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It is way more exciting when something hands me a lighter and not someone! It’s like the box of chocolates. I never know what I am going to get to see!
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Yeah, but it’s usually a robot…
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I like the tin foil hat idea. And think of the photo opportunities.
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Even more dramatic after the lightning hits.
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No doubt.
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YOU’RE FIRED!
My bad. You’re MASERCOT.
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I am known for my smouldering good looks…
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Can’t believe you forgot “organize a gender reveal party”! I hear they’re very effective in starting fires.
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That would be a good one, Jay!
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