It’s surprising how often we answer with, “It was my pleasure” when we actually mean, “It was a gigantic pain in the ass”.
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I don’t mind dying young as long as I can do it when I’m ninety.
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Often, I was awakened out of a sound sleep because my wife needed her calves massaged. But, it was my pleasure…
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If I were a werewolf and metamorphosed every full moon, that would give my life the structure I sorely need.
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It was simpler when I was a kid. My only choices were whether to kill myself jumping my bike off of a ramp; or, by teasing the bull in my neighbor’s pasture.
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My mom broke her hip recently; but, she was walking in less than two weeks, confirming my suspicions that she is, in fact, a Terminator…
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The Tree of Liberty is watered with the blood of patriots… so it might be less complicated to grow ferns instead.
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Do cats steal a baby’s breath while he sleeps? No, that is an old wives’ tale based on the fact that cats WANT to steal a baby’s breath while he sleeps.
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Despite their stated policy of working WITH the customer, my drugstore still won’t take human kidneys as payment.
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Women love a man who is not afraid to cry because they need SOMEONE to laugh at…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I was tempted to send a life raft out to search for you… but having a Terminator for a mother means you’re tougher than I thought. Welcome back!
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She broke her hip and shoulder about a month ago. I call her a “tough old bird” because her bone density is essentially helium…
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Tease the bull? You wouldn’t dare 😄
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When you grow up on a farm, Deb, you dare anything just to stave off boredom…
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My kids like beheading roosters 🐔
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[shudder]
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Cats should think twice about stealing anyone’s breath while they sleep since they sleep 95 % of the time and it would be easy to steal theirs. Then again who wants cat breath.
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I didn’t know cats breathed…
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I think only when they’re eating the heart out of a mouse, or stealing a baby’s breath.
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Good to see you back around.
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Thanks, River!
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For sure.
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That cat one is so not true! I have seen cat sleep with babies and become their best friend and protector.
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Hmmm… perhaps it was a joke…
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Oh no, I have heard that many times before. The truth is the cat likes the babies breath and could accidentally suffocate the baby by laying on its face
But, that rarely if ever actually happens.
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Tell me about it. I’ve had a jealous cat and a newborn at the same time. But, I trusted her to maintain a distance and she didn’t disappoint.
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My oldest daughter, who lives in another city, actually did break her hip recently and tells me she is walking with the aid of a Navigator named Henry. Unfortunately, he only speaks and understands Portuguese, so they often go in different directions….so many, in fact, that she can’t count the ways.
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A limerick
makes her sick
but if you ask for a sonnet
she’s right onnet!
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Welcome back! And well, I suspect cats kind of want to murder everyone… I say that as someone who loves them with a passion. (Please, don’t kill me, cats)
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The army of the night is displeased; plus, they have “mouse-breath”…
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What’s up, Charlescot? I know it’s a lot me in my busy life, but I hardly hear from you anymore…
Oh, and I think cats would steal all of our vital organs if given the chance…
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I’ve had several bad things happen to me at the same time, Chelsea. Hard to think funny when this happens.
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I’m very sorry. You can always e-mail me.
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