I’ve stopped buying turkey and just make my own out of hundreds of discarded wrens.
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I take all of my used tea-bags and create hypoallergenic pillows. Just remember to use a pillow-case or all that residual caffeine keeps one awake.
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I buy lots of canned goods on sale so, instead of throwing away fresh produce I don’t use after a week or so, I can throw out canned goods I don’t use after a year or so.
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T-shirts that don’t make any sense can be bought for pennies on the dollar. A picture of a cat with the words, “Sloan fries the best when weeping” might be confusing but it still counts as clothing.
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If you are a junkie, remember that dealers often sell the remnants of all their sold drugs for almost nothing… and, who doesn’t want the exquisite high you get from a mix of ecstasy, fentynal, baby laxative, PCP and rice flour?
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Why buy cable when you can watch the best six minutes of any movie on Youtube and then piece together the plot using hearsay and the IMDB synopsis?
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Instead of using money, I try to pay my bills using expired cans of food.
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Every once in a while I set my car on fire to get money from my insurance company; although, once I got confused and burned down my insurance company thinking that I’d get a car.
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I get all my surgeries and dental work done in third-world areas such as Mexico, Guatemala and Mississippi.
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I never tell my date where I live so I can tell her that my home is a “little hole in the wall restaurant that specializes in expired canned foods”…sometimes I pretend my dog is the maitre d and we split the tips…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Your dog must be ruff 😂
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I keep him around because he’s great at recommending wines…
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He would be
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Please forward your list of stores that accept expired canned goods. I’m going on a spree.
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So far it’s just that guy who sells stolen appliances from the car; but, I’m hopeful!
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I didn’t know Mississippi was that advanced.
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They just added their first library. We’re all kind of excited…
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I thought everyone got their dental work done in Mexico?
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I was going to make a pun about Teethajuana but I realized that would be beneath me…
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I reuse coffee grinds three times really making sure I squeeze out all the caffeine content. Of course, gotta pee a lot more too…and walking…fasting…amazing what we can do when the costs increase…
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I’ve known people who use the same tea-bag three times. I would just rather have a third of the tea I normally would…
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Some of those seem a bit far-fetched, but maybe it’s just me — I haven’t been getting much sleep since I started stuffing my pillow=case with expired canned goods.
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It’s the tuna cans that keep me awake…
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I think my daughter has some of those t-shirts… 🤨
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You see a lot of them on disaster victims in other countries. We may not have a need for “Ryan Reynolds for Senator” t-shirts, but some people might…
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I may have the same problem with canned foods.
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