Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
Tribeco Bird’s Nest White Fungus Soda: Because there weren’t nearly enough war crimes in Vietnam’s history, they came up with this. It’s made from the dried bird spit masses usually used in bird’s nest soup. Consumers say that it tastes like vanilla with milk. Milk mixed with vanilla tastes even MORE LIKE vanilla with milk […]
Read More Sodas of NoteTell your children using LSD can result in a “bad trip”. A bad trip is rife with anxiety, terrifying thoughts and feeling a wide range of emotions all at the same time. Still, it’s not as bad as the trip the family took to Utah. ♦ You can build up a tolerance to LSD very […]
Read More What to Tell Your Kids about LSDYou can’t pull your hat over your ears. ☻ No matter which way you fall asleep, in the morning your head is always facing magnetic north. ☻ Your friends try to avoid sensitive topics when talking to you… like politics and railroad spikes. ☻ Your girlfriend tries to say “sartorial splendor” but she pronounces it, […]
Read More How You Can be Sure You have a Railroad Spike Through Your HeadYou notice that the person who works the pharmacy is mixing codeine cough syrup into his Red Bull… ♥ Nurse Knuckles and Nurse Bonesaw are always on call. ♥ The rest home is listed by the state government as a detention center. ♥ The elderly occupants have set up a pommel-horse in the break room […]
Read More Sure Signs of a Substandard Retirement Home[Sorry ’bout last week. I caught the norovirus] Make your front porch into a giant glue trap. You will definitely catch porch pirates as well as postal employees and that smart-assed mouse that keeps getting into your saltines. ♣ Put a video camera above your front door and rig it so that when the thief […]
Read More How to Scuttle Porch Pirates
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 