Republican Ideas for Healthcare Reform

Allow people to buy insurance across state lines provided they can get sick in both states. Emphasize preventative care, mostly by raising your voice when you tell the working poor: “You also can’t afford PREVENTATIVE CARE”. Reduce the requirements to become a medical doctor to watching six episodes of Quincy. Make the entire hospital […]

Not a Cigar but a Whole ‘Nother Random Thought

I’ve only had one chance to have sex with a pro-football cheerleader; but, I waited too long and she woke up. A quick note to the world’s animals: If you can be breaded and fried, I WILL find you and I WILL eat you. People complain about Donald Trump, but he is the ONLY […]

A big fat juicy limerick

A forgetful old man of Iraq, wrote poetry books by the stack. His memory was such that sometimes he would forget he was writing poetry entirely and, instead write in a prose form that was both beautiful and lyrical. It flowed from his pen like spring water coming from the depths of the Earth […]

Fears, Anxieties and Dreads

I worry that people will see my laugh-lines and assume that I’ve had it too easy all my life. When I go to a urinal and someone else walks up at the same time but finishes WAY before I do, I worry that I might be peeing wrong. I’ve got a gnawing anxiety that […]

Futile Acts of Voter Fraud I’ve Committed

On my registration form, I deliberately didn’t capitalize my street name. Next to my vote for my desired candidate I wrote “times infinity”. It probably didn’t accomplish anything but, when it does work, it will DEFINITELY ensure that my candidate wins. I started a rumor on Facebook that one of our local bond issues […]

The Unerring Accuracy of Photons

One of the most beautiful naturally occurring objects is the photon. They are born inside stars when a hydrogen atom lays its eggs. Two hydrogen atoms mate to form a helium atom and once consummated, they mate for life. But, the photon has a long journey ahead of it. Because it has to fly […]

Secrets I Will Never Tell

When those around me recite the preamble to the Constitution, I usually just mouth along until we get to the part about “liberty and justice for all”. When I use a public restroom and someone is in one of the stalls, I will pretend to wash my hands by turning the water on and […]