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How to be More Smarterer

Claim whatever word you are discussing comes from the “Middle English” from the “Old French” because who cares? . Sprinkle your essay with made up quotes from Tolstoy. Remember to avoid topics like lasers, nuclear energy and the band Boyz II Men. . Writing a simple sentence, when a more complicated one is just as […]

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Tornado Tips!

If you must flee a tornado in a vehicle, do it at right angles from the tornado’s path. If you don’t have a protractor (or compass and straight-edge) to calculate the angle, just park your car on the shoulder of the road and wait for death… If your pet runs off during a tornado and […]

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2-d Shapes I Hate: Part Two

  Ellipse: You’ll never see me bad-mouthing a circle. But, a circle only has TWO parts: The middle and the perimeter. I can live with that. That’s why they wait until analytic geometry to introduce you to the HORROR that is the ellipse. It has more parts than a shortwave radio. Besides a center and […]

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Fun Facts!

REM’s pop song Shiny Happy People was written by Michael Stipe after his high phosphorous diet caused him to glow in the dark. Did you know that rattlesnakes and Swedes do NOT get along well? When reading a name in Russian literature, most English-speakers do NOT pronounce the names in their heads. They just replace […]

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You Worm, We Worm, Eyeworm

According to the Journal of the American Society of Tropical Medicine and Hygiene (a splinter group of the PLO), an Oregon woman had fourteen worms removed from her eye. I don’t know if that is any kind of a world record, but it definitely beats my highest number, which I HOPE TO GOD is zero. […]

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