Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
Platform Shoes: Suddenly, we were two inches taller. I felt more masculine as a taller man. It almost made it worth falling off the stage at my high school graduation. I wish I hadn’t cried so much when I fell… ☺ The Sexual Revolution: It ended in the seventies. Both sides lost. But, it was […]
Read More What Made the Seventies BearableCleaning Up Your Dog’s Waste: You follow your dog with a baggie and basically perform the duties of its toilet; on the other hand, your dog reveres YOU as a god. Let’s just say that it’s a pretty twisted relationship all around. ֍ Oil Change: I always feel like the oil change places do nothing […]
Read More Odious TasksI’m thankful for sex education because, without it, the girls I dated in high school and college wouldn’t have been able to tell me what I was doing wrong. ֎ I’m thankful for pork because, if we didn’t eat it, with all the pigs we kill, we’d come off looking like a bunch of sadists. […]
Read More Stuff I’m Thankful for, Part FiveKeith Richards insured his hands for 1.6 million dollars despite the fact that Keith Richards’ hands had recently filed a restraining order to keep the guitarist five hundred feet away from his hands at all times. ☺ Jennifer Lopez has a 27 million dollar policy to insure her buttocks. When she hits sixty, her plan […]
Read More Famous People Who’ve Insured parts of ThemselvesYou marry the only woman who doesn’t spray you with mace when you introduce yourself. ♦ You say everything in the passive tense such as “My project got screwed up” instead of the more active, “That guy who doesn’t speak much English screwed my project up” ♦ You see everything that happens to you as […]
Read More Signs That You are Too Passive
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 