Note to Self

NOTE TO SELF: Quit using shampoos with the instructions, “Lather, rinse, regret”… ◊ NOTE TO SELF: Remember to tell uncle that replacing the “N-word” with “negro gentleman” doesn’t make his joke about the porter and the traveling salesman any easier to listen to. ◊ NOTE TO SELF: Return dog to shelter and get one that […]

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Yeah, I’m Back…(Kind of)

It’s surprising how often we answer with, “It was my pleasure” when we actually mean, “It was a gigantic pain in the ass”. ☺ I don’t mind dying young as long as I can do it when I’m ninety. ☺ Often, I was awakened out of a sound sleep because my wife needed her calves […]

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Gluten-Free Random Thoughts

I keep a mime in a large, transparent box… mostly for the sake of irony. ☻ There is literally no good reason to eat marshmallows… ☻ I lived in a town that was near the world’s largest baking soda volcano. One day, it erupted, flooding the town and relieving the acid re-flux of dozens of […]

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Random Thoughts on Sex

I think what two people do in the privacy of their own sex dungeon is between them and the paramedics. ◙ They say if you are strangled during orgasm, it makes the experience more intense; to be fair though, ANYTHING you do while being strangled will be more intense… ◙ Of all the things to […]

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