A female goat is called a “nanny”. A young attractive female goat is called an “au pair”… Studies show that left-handed people die earlier, on average, than right-handed people. The primary reason for this is that left-handed people don’t live as long. Dance is just your soul trying to express itself by crushing someone else’s […]Read More Random and Random of Beverly Hills
I wouldn’t want to be a special envoy because the other envoys might get jealous and maybe vandalize my truck. My mom always liked me best but covered up for it by spending all her time playing with and complimenting my siblings. Ever notice that astronauts don’t get arrested a lot for murder, rape and […]Read More Olio and Hodgepodge
Oscar Wilde once said, “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.”. He died shortly after saying that because that wallpaper had some pretty powerful friends. That feeling I used to have after getting laid is the same feeling I now get when I lay in a three […]Read More Thoughts as Random as Random can be, I Must Say
At work, the LGBT people are having a gay ice-cream social. When the guy handed me the flier, I thought to myself, “You know, if my granddaddy were alive today, he’d probably be panicking, scratching and clawing at the coffin lid until he suffocated” If everyone who ever died trying to save someone from a […]Read More Double-plus Rand-Thoughts
When I say that Lisa Loeb is the Antichrist, I’m not saying that she’s the evil opposite of Jesus Christ. I’m just saying that she will actively bring about the destruction of the world… I’m done with women because I’ve been burned so many times before… most recently when a lady threw her coffee at […]Read More What Random Thoughts Hath God Wrot?
The race goes not always to the swift, but they are usually the odds on favorite. Violence never solved anything… except the problem of that guy who’s staring at you from across the bar. He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. He who knows that too much isn’t nearly enough will […]Read More Waiter! What’s this Random Thought Doing in My Soup?
I was watching a documentary on Catherine the Great in which they explicitly said that she DIDN’T have sex with a horse. In my experience, when you have to tell people that you didn’t have sex with a horse, you probably had sex with a horse… I’m pretty close to what medical science considers my […]Read More The Loathsome Turpitude of Random Thoughts