My Girlf and I broke Up (an exercise)

Turned out my girlfriend was a werewolf and would change forms with the full moon; I had to break things off with her because I got tired of my neighbor’s cats being eaten every thirty days… ☼ I ended my relationship because I didn’t get along with my girlfriend’s dog. Some dogs get possessive and […]

Narcolepsy: Living the Dream

Narcolepsy is a condition that causes sudden REM sleep in the sufferer. It shouldn’t be joked about… unless the narcoleptic is in a bar with a carrot in his ear… then, he’s just asking for it. ☺ If someone you live with is diagnosed with narcolepsy, at least you’ll have the comfort of knowing you […]

What am I Gonna do with All this Strontium?

I was in a hurry when my four year old asked, “Daddy, 38 is how many?”. I handed him the nucleus of a strontium atom and told him to count the protons. ♠ Strontium 90 has a half-life of twenty-six years so if you spill some, just wait five hundred years and most of it […]

Random Thoughts (a Little Blue)

Recently, I tried asiago cheese for the second time and, just like the first time, it really didn’t taste like anything. So, I recommend grating some onto a dish that already tastes exactly like you want it. ♣ I didn’t have an imaginary friend growing up. I don’t know whether to feel regret or pretend […]

Stuff You Don’t Know about Me

I tried phone-sex only once but I couldn’t figure out where to put the phone. Improvising only made it more unpleasant and a little humiliating… ♥ I once stalked and killed a three-hundred pound big horn sheep… best experience of my LIFE; but, I don’t think I’ll be doing it a second time now that […]