Thoughts on Greed

Greed is the act of taking a certain amount more than your fair share over a particular period of time; usually, the certain amount is “everything” and the time is “before anyone finds out”. The greedy act as if they were taking a how-to course in bulimia and learned how to binge; but, transferred to […]

Celebrities I’ll Never Date and Why

Bjork: I don’t mind so much that she attacked a reporter. Most of my aunts have a least taken a swing at one. What would doom us romantically would be that she’s from Iceland and probably keeps the thermostat too low. Nicole Kidman: She was married to a Scientologist for eleven years. No one leaves […]

My Girlf and I broke Up (an exercise)

Turned out my girlfriend was a werewolf and would change forms with the full moon; I had to break things off with her because I got tired of my neighbor’s cats being eaten every thirty days… ☼ I ended my relationship because I didn’t get along with my girlfriend’s dog. Some dogs get possessive and […]

Narcolepsy: Living the Dream

Narcolepsy is a condition that causes sudden REM sleep in the sufferer. It shouldn’t be joked about… unless the narcoleptic is in a bar with a carrot in his ear… then, he’s just asking for it. ☺ If someone you live with is diagnosed with narcolepsy, at least you’ll have the comfort of knowing you […]

What am I Gonna do with All this Strontium?

I was in a hurry when my four year old asked, “Daddy, 38 is how many?”. I handed him the nucleus of a strontium atom and told him to count the protons. ♠ Strontium 90 has a half-life of twenty-six years so if you spill some, just wait five hundred years and most of it […]