My Girlf and I broke Up (an exercise)

Turned out my girlfriend was a werewolf and would change forms with the full moon; I had to break things off with her because I got tired of my neighbor’s cats being eaten every thirty days… ☼ I ended my relationship because I didn’t get along with my girlfriend’s dog. Some dogs get possessive and […]

My Memories of Nebulae is Fuzzy

I used to harshly judge people who lied to their children about where they came from; but, one day I thought about it: “Your dad and I drank too much alcohol and nine months later you came out of the same place that pee does” is not a scenario that inspires confidence in a six-year-old. […]

Google Questions/Charlie Answers

These are real Google questions that showed up on a recent search. My answers are not the opinion of MicroSoft nor are they actual answers. How do you get rid of frogs? Casually mention that Costco’s sale on fifty pound boxes of flies is on its last day… ♫ How do you remove a lot […]

My Ten Favorite Falls

I can’t believe there were at least ten memorable falls in my life… My first fall, that I can remember, was in Maine. You know what they say: You never forget the first fall you can remember. We had stairs with either no railing or a railing a five year old could outsmart. I looked […]

The Gorilla Who Didn’t Understand Adages

Gorilla Bob sat at his security desk scanning the store’s monitors. He loved his job as head of security at D-Mart. He’d been at it for fifteen years and had been acknowledged by corporate many times for his wisdom and acumen. Behind him, a door opened. “Morning, boss!”, greeted his assistant, a grey mule deer. […]