As a writer on the subject of zoology, I feel the same pressure as others to produce essays on what I refer to as “the freak mammals”. These are those odd creatures that live on the God-forsaken continent of Australia. Most of this pressure comes from actor Paul Hogan; and frankly, I don’t feel like deleting hundreds of his drunken rambling emails from my in-box…
The quoll is a marsupial rat which, unlike the American opossum, doesn’t even have the decency to be edible. It has razor sharp teeth, including pronounced canines (pronounced Kay’niinz). They are primarily brown, black or grey. Some species have white spots and others are simply hallucinations. The quoll may weigh from one to sixteen pounds depending upon what species it is and how much it weighs. Its length ranges from ten inches to about two feet. The quoll’s feet are transversely striated for climbing trees. Its tail is NOT prehensile for falling out of trees. The quoll has a hairy tail, which I suppose could be turned into some sort of derisive chant if one really wanted to hurt their feelings…
The quoll eats anything that it can take down in a fair fight; they’ve even been known to take down prey larger than they are. And, you know what that means: Lots of leftovers! They eat frogs, lizards, snakes, birds, insects and some vegetation. Their diet is much the same as the feral cats in Australia except for the fact that the cats also eat quolls. I’m not sure that this means that cats and quolls are in direct competition; however, I am sure that the cats are winning whatever is happening between the two. If something falls down dead somewhere, the quoll will add that to its diet as well.
Quolls mate in late fall to early winter. The young gestate for about a month, then come out, looking surprisingly like something that you dug out of your ear. The quoll births between eighteen to thirty young, twelve to twenty-four MORE than the animal has teats. It’s first come, first served and the rest either perish or study breathology. The young become self-sufficient in about five months at which point they are usually eaten by a cat…
The New Guinean Quoll, strangely enough, lives primarily in New Guinea. I say “primarily” because I don’t like to assume too much. They are at the smaller end of the weight range for quolls. Their habitat is in forests at higher elevations, usually three thousand feet; however, they can range as high as eleven thousand feet. Any higher than that and they explode with a bright green flash…or so I’ve been told. They are threatened by human encroachment, dogs, cats, foxes and men who are afraid to show their feelings.
The bronze quoll (Dasyurus spartacus) is also found only in New Guinea. It weighs in at between five and six pounds. It was thought to be a Western quoll until 1987, when Dr. Stephen Van Dyck examined specimens and declared it a different species. Where, I must ask, is HIS parade? Not much is known about this species; I think that it was caught, named, then thrown into the nearest wastepaper basket…
The Northern quoll (Dasyurus hallucatus) can weigh between one and two pounds in its stocking feet. Unlike the other quolls, they have no pouch; just a flap of skin around the nipple. Obviously the female Northern quoll doesn’t put the effort into child-rearing that it should. They are far better parents than the males, who usually die soon after mating. The Northern quoll has developed the ability to become extinct in nearly any habitat; and, you cannot blame cats, dogs, foxes or men who are afraid to show their feelings. They simply cannot live well with cane toads. Everything goes along swimmingly until the quoll eats one of the tasty looking creatures. Unfortunately, the cane toad is as poisonous as the contents of an old lady’s candy dish. The Northern quoll dies quickly after the meal. Oddly enough, the cane toad is not native to Australia. It was introduced because it was determined that the continent did not have enough venomous animals.
The Western Quoll (Dasyurus geoffroii) ranges only in the Southwestern portion of Australia. There was talk of changing its name to the “Southwestern quoll” but they determined that the creature already had checks printed up. It is much like the bronze quoll only it adds crayfish to the normal quoll diet.
As of 1960, the Eastern Quoll (Dasyurus viverrinus) is extinct in Australia, which is hardly unexpected. The entire continent is one big poisonous battle royale. At three pounds, the Eastern quoll does very well in Tasmania. It doesn’t have cane toads, foxes, cats, dogs or dingoes to deal with. The Eastern quoll is quite capable of competing with the Tasmanian devil. It is only threatened by the inevitability that someone will introduce cane toads, foxes, dingoes, dogs and cats to Tasmania…
The Tiger Quoll (Dasyurus maculatus) is the largest quoll. It is spotted, much like the tiger isn’t. Like most species, the tiger quoll is threatened with extinction. Scottish naturalist Robert Kerr originally put this species into the genus Didelphis with the opossums. When he wasn’t looking, someone put the tiger quoll into the genus Dasyurus. When Kerr tried to reclassify the tiger quoll, the creature pretended not to hear him and walked away.
There is one other species of quoll: One that hasn’t changed in millions of years. It is called, of course, the “status quoll”…
Sorry…
Enjoyed this? Hated it? Either way, here’s one on the wombat… and one on the Onager.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 