Author: masercot

Secrets of Being Male

[My doors are still frozen shut so publishing these sacred secrets of being a man might be the result of low oxygen in my home.] Most men know nothing about football and when there are no women in the room, we actually talk about quilting, mostly. All men name their testicles; however, it is forbidden […]

Note to Self

Note to Self: I need to keep my copy of Covering up an Embarrassing Drinking Problem For Dummies in my desk drawer… the lockable one… Note to Self: If my anecdote about my trip to the grocery store requires bathroom breaks, I should concentrate on just the main themes. Note to Self: If someone invites […]

New Year’s Resolutions 2026

I resolve to stop threatening suicide when things don’t go my way like when my expired thirty-cents coupon for bath tissue is rejected at checkout. ► I resolve to dance at weddings ONLY when there is music playing and NO PELVIC THRUSTS ON THE DANCE FLOOR. ► I resolve to really listen and be nicer […]

Carbon Dioxide Tips and Trivia

When you are so worried about your carbon atoms that you keep two oxygen molecules with it at all times as bodyguards. ♯ Dry ice is one of the fastest ways of finding cavities or loose fittings. The dentist gets the patient to bite a sheet of dry ice; then, he pries you off the […]

Is Your Coworker a Spy?

You borrow his CD player and it self-destructs in five seconds. ♪ He can say “tell me what I want to know or I’ll kill you” in seven languages. The same phrase is embroidered on a throw pillow in his living room. ♪ He keeps telling Goldfinger that he’s “totally mad” which only seems to […]

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