Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
Kiss the first person I see, on the mouth, like that sailor from that famous photograph taken on VJ Day. Shave. Put my pants on. Actually, I should probably do THAT BEFORE I kiss the first person I see, on the mouth, like that sailor from that famous photograph taken on VJ Day. I will […]
Read More The First Things I’ll Do After CovidOlder women are no longer looking for “Mr. Right” or “Mr. Acceptable”. They are looking for “Mr. Anybody Because My Last Egg is about to Drop”. I am that anybody! As I get older and tire more easily, older women sleep less and have more energy; because, menopause is nature’s methamphetamine… Older women like to […]
Read More In Praise of Older WomenWith younger women, there is far less likelihood of a conversation about her clogged bile duct. A younger woman can use your rambling, go-nowhere stories of your youth in her history class. Younger women make great “trophy wives”; but, never EVER have one engraved. A young girlfriend destroys the confidence of your ex-wife to the […]
Read More In Praise of Younger WomenIf a penguin joins a convent, you can’t tell if it is wearing a habit or walking around naked like some kind of pervert. Male penguins, nesting at the South Pole, incubate eggs. This is a good thing, because if they did it in a populated area, females of other species might get ideas. Penguins […]
Read More Some Semi-Formal Facts about PenguinsDear Genetically-Modified Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog, Despite my prohibition against pets, my son found a stray beatnik while playing with friends in a vacant lot a few blocks away. We kept him in the garage and nursed him back to health with cups of espresso; but, now that he’s better, he refuses to leave. He just […]
Read More Ask a Genetically-Modified Bio-Engineered Super-Intelligent Dog: The Final Epilogue