New on Television, this Summer…

My Big Fat Heroin-addict Mom: It is, in fact, the reality show to end all reality shows… at least I hope that’s what it does. A woman with a heroin habit and a compulsive eating disorder tries to juggle two kids… probably because she’s so high that she thinks they are oranges. If successful, the […]

You Can Rest When You’re Dead

I once saw that adage in a list of inspirational quotes. I wasn’t inspired much by it because I had planned on sleeping in the following Sunday. It occurred to me that maybe others would react differently to it; but, when my son told me, after a day at the zoo, that he was tired […]

Advice Column Advice

To my readers and to those who just come here to see if I mentioned them at all: I’m planning on writing another advice column featuring the biologically-enhanced super-intelligent dog, and I thought some of you might want to offer questions for her. If so, put them into the comments below… Ask a Bio-engineered Super-intelligent […]

The Hydra

Another animal essay… but about the most boring animal in the world (not the wombat): The Hydra! Click here to read article. Click here if you want literally noting to happen.

What Random Thoughts Hath God Wrot?

When I say that Lisa Loeb is the Antichrist, I’m not saying that she’s the evil opposite of Jesus Christ. I’m just saying that she will actively bring about the destruction of the world… I’m done with women because I’ve been burned so many times before… most recently when a lady threw her coffee at […]