Channeling Rodney Dangerfield

I was an ugly baby… when I was born the nurses put me in an iguana habitat. And, I went to a tough school. It was so tough, they had to use Navy Seals as elementary school teachers; so tough, they bused felons from the state prison to scare them straight. I got beaten up […]

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My Relations

I had a great-uncle who played professional baseball in the thirties. He is best known for standing at the plate, pointing at the right field bleachers and saying, “I buried a body over there”, then hitting a ground ball and being thrown out at first base. My great-great grandfather invented the telephone but then waited […]

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