What is Charlie Up to?

I buy fifty cd-roms a week so I can eventually backup the entire internet. I’m creating a snack food laced with barbiturates called Laze Potato Chips. I’m hollowing out birch seeds so that, when they are grown, I’ll have a ready-made canoe. I’m falsifying my driver’s license to match my falsified birth certificate. I’m shaving […]

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Some Thoughts on Eating Dog

If you are going to eventually eat your dog, don’t raise it as a beloved pet because it isn’t polite to play with your food… In dog-eating countries like Vietnam or the Philippines, eating dog might just get you a case of rabies; so, if you don’t want rabies, avoid eating dog in those countries.  […]

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Facts about Rice

In India, the first solid food given to children is often rice; whereas, the last solid food given to someone is often poison. Two makes of car, Honda and Toyota, are named after rice. Kind of stupid, I know, but not as dumb as naming a car after a Papal decree, as in “Fiat”; or, […]

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I Hate Mint!!!

After eating a mint, you can’t drink water for half an hour because the taste is so strong… You can’t drink orange juice for a week. A mint-julip is pretty disgusting. I refuse to consume anything with torn damp vegetation at the bottom… same reason I don’t eat at the salad bar of my local […]

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