It was Never Easy for Me

I had a rough childhood. My family had nothing and had to borrow to get even that. We lived at the dump for years. When people hear this, they always ask the same question: “If you lived at the dump, where did you throw your trash?”. Well, it was Florida, so we threw it beside […]

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Elementary Facts about Neutrinos

A neutrino is an elementary particle. An elementary particle is any matter that cannot be broken down any further. So, the neutrino you thought you destroyed when you ran over it with your car was probably the neighbor’s cat. A neutrino is not a neutron. The name “neutrino” was coined to give the newly discovered […]

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Cliches Repurposed

I’d become that which I hated most: Liver and onions. And, to add insult to injury, he made fun of my broken arm… She was as cute as a button… a sexy button with a butt that wouldn’t quit. The kind of button you’d leave unbuttoned so everyone could see it on your lapel and […]

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The Terrors of Malt Liquor

Malt liquor is simply beer with a high alcohol content that tastes like a decayed body in a swamp… It is customary, when drinking “forties” with friends, to pour a little onto the ground for friends who have died. If none of your friends have died, take heart… drinking malt liquor should kill one or […]

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