Pot-bellied Pig: This pet says “attention whore” WAY better than dying your hair green or piercing your eyelids. When people approach you about the farm animal you have on a leash, look embarrassed at the attention as you soak it in like a vital nutrient… ☺ Hissing Cockroaches: The word “pet” is a hard one […]Read More Exotic Pets: Which One is Right for YOU?
Black pepper has a high caffeine content; but, that’s not the only reason you couldn’t sleep after your friends got you to eat the contents of a pepper shaker. ♦ There are two differences between white peppercorns and black peppercorns: First, a white peppercorn doesn’t have a skin; second, black peppercorns are less likely to […]Read More Irritating Facts about Pepper
[Old stuff that I’m clearing out of my queue] If you round out the number of languages he speaks to the nearest integer, it comes to zero. ♫ He went to a Friar’s Club meeting because he was expecting tempura. ♫ He locked his keys in his car and had to break a window to […]Read More He’s So Stupid… (Leftovers)
[Experimental piece] If time healed all wounds, pharmaceutical companies would’ve already trademarked it. And, given it a cool name like Tempusall. ♪ If time healed all wounds, legislators would find a way to tax it. ♪ If time healed all wounds, some Italian corporation would invent “Deluxe Time” which would cost more than regular time […]Read More If Time Healed All Wounds
Unlike other natural disasters, you don’t have to bury the victims of a landslide. Not much of a consolation, but I’m a “glass half-slid” kind of a guy. ♦ Landslides move, on average, at the rate of ten miles per hour; although, they can go as fast as thirty-five miles per hour once they get […]Read More Facts about Landslides that Make Me Want to Scree