Articles from Paranoiac Monthly

We Tell You Which Airlines are Spying on You as They Fly Overhead ♦ Twenty-four Indisputable Indicators that Your Family is Slowly Poisoning You ♦ Give the Voices in Your Head the Afternoon Off! ♦ How to See the Facial Expressions Your Boyfriend Makes When he Thinks You aren’t Looking ♦ Covid Vaccines: Which of […]

More and More Medical Advice from a Terse Llama

Dear Terse Llama, The lump on my chest is getting larger while the lump on my back is getting smaller. What is happening to my body? Terrified in Tehran Dear Tehran, You are sleeping on a broomstick. ♦ Dear Terse Llama, My arthritis is in full force. I’ve tried every possible cure: Fish oil, flax […]

New Psychiatrist Jokes that Look Like They are From the 1950s

A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office and says, “My elderly grandmother thinks she’s Superman” The doctor says, “Why don’t you bring her in?” And, the man replies, “She keeps flying away” A woman walks into a psychiatrist’s office and says, “My husband thinks he’s a zebra” The doctor replies, “Bring him in, I can […]

Terse Llama’s Second Covid Advice Page

Dear Terse Llama, Just after the “stay-at-home order”, my wife issued a “now do all the chores you’ve been avoiding order”. I’ve carefully weighed out my options and I think a one in twenty chance of dying by suffocation would be far less unpleasant than trimming the hedges in my front and side yard. Can […]

Stuff that has Gotten Me in Trouble

I sent a condolence card to a friend but I added “if she faked her death, please disregard this card”… I was wondering what would happen if I put an entire box of detergent into the washing machine and while I was wondering that, I stole my mom’s purse. When the police were searching my […]