Benefits of a Hole Through the Palm of Your Hand

[Sorry I haven’t been producing much. Depression and writer’s block seem to go hand in hand.]

Put a hole in the other hand and you’ve got stigmata, my friend. Chicks love stigmata!

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A hole will allow you to install a tiny window so, when you cover your eyes, you are actually “peeking”.

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People tend to trust you more when you say, “I swear by the hole in my hand that I’m telling the truth!”

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With multiple holes, you can drain spaghetti just by holding it.

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A hole will make your hand more aerodynamic so you can conduct an orchestra that much faster. Imagine: Tchaikovsky’s First Piano Concerto finished in one minute and eleven seconds.

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A hole in the palm of your hand is an excellent place to keep your pen or pencil when you aren’t using it.

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If the wound gets infected, you will not longer need to employ relative designations such as “right” or “left”. You can use color-coding in that case so “flesh colored” and “blackish green” would be the new designations.

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A hole through a person’s hand generally causes a lot of nerve damage… so, don’t perforate your hand until your nerves give you an excuse…

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The easiest way to put a hole through your palm is to high-five someone who is carrying an ice-pick…

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If a woman turns you down for a date, you can reply, sadly, “It’s the hole in my hand, isn’t it?”. That might shame her into going out with you. If so, why not take in a performance of Tchaikovsky’s First Piano Concerto which will leave you a lot of time for other activities. Really. I swear by the hole in my hand!