A Little Bad Joke

My cousin showed me his dog which was missing one of his front legs. He was so proud. “You see this here dog?”, he told me, “This here’s a yard-dog” “So, he sleeps outside at night?”, I asked. “Naw, he sleeps in the house with me and the wife” “Then, why do you call him […]

I am Hunter!

I’m a hunter. You know… aim, shoot, aim, shoot, aim, shoot, sorry about your car. Every weekend, I go out into the woods and kill any animals that I’m legally allowed to, plus any poorly-tended livestock I come across. I AM A SPORTSMAN. My ball is the bullet; my arena, the forest; and, my opponent […]

Things I Hate that are Yellow

Banana: The banana looks like no other fruit. And, when something looks nothing like anything else that it is, it probably isn’t that (if you read that sentence backwards it actually makes MORE sense). My theory is that those black dots that go the length of the banana are a spine. It bruises when you […]

Things I Hate that are Blue

Smurfs: Frank Herbert in the science-fiction series, Dune, invented an entire culture and vocabulary. Anthony Burgess created an entire language in A Clockwork Orange. The Smurfs simply replaced random nouns, verbs and adjectives with the word “smurf”. That is really smurfed up… The Sky: Tornadoes, hail, lightening, comets… just some of the many gifts we […]

Random Thoughts: The Outlaw of Ardor

I went to a dueling piano bar and got to see one man kill another with a Steinway… Curiosity killed the cat… despite the presence of my fingerprints an DNA at the scene. You can look into it further if you like, but you know what happened to that nosy cat… Gynophobia is the irrational […]

Warm Thoughts about Fireplaces

A fireplace can be a wonderful addition to any home that can benefit from open fires in the living area. The entire family can gather around, roast marshmallows, hot dogs or just throw in a few aerosol cans for an impromptu game of “hairspray chicken”. A flue allows smoke to escape up through the chimney. […]

Notes on the Roadrunner

You don’t see a bird like the roadrunner every day… unless you live next door to one and it washes its car a lot… which would be frustrating because you’d like just ONE day to be edging your lawn and not have to make small talk with it while it waxes its Trans Am… Roadrunners […]