Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
No task is beneath you. Do the menial stuff with pride and hope that no one sees you. ▼ Don’t be afraid of hard work… unless it is menacing you with a hunting knife or suddenly popping out of your bedroom closet when you are just falling asleep. ▼ Do what you love… keeping in […]
Read More Take My Life Advice… or Else[After six months of unemployment, I have a job. Please allow me to share my wisdom on this subject with you] Don’t ask when you can apply for long-term disability. ֍ Don’t install Skyrim on your work computer. If, for some reason, it is already ON your work computer, don’t start a Wizard character because […]
Read More Things NOT to Do When you Start a New JobRub two sticks together. Invariably, afterwards, one of the sticks lights up a cigarette while the other wants to spoon. Use the embers from that cigarette to start a fire. ☼ If you have car keys, use them to drive somewhere there are matches. ☼ If you have a gun and ammunition, take a bullet […]
Read More How to Start a Fire without MatchesDear Traumatically Modified Super Dog, I was in my yard and overheard my neighbor referring to me as “white trash”. He didn’t see me there because I was behind the old refrigerator lying in the tall grass of my front yard. I thought he and I were getting along… in fact, I thought he liked […]
Read More Ask a Genetically-Modified, Bio-Engineered, Super-Intelligent Dog: The Director’s CutI keep a knife by my bed so, if I ever start contemplating taking up model trains as a hobby, I can stab myself to death. ֍֍ I used to have really strict criteria for my girlfriends. Now, she just has to have at least one breast and be capable of making toast. ֍֍ Dungeons […]
Read More The Random Thoughts from Beyond Time