Relieving Tension

First, determine the cause of your tension and if that cause can be sent to summer camp or boarding school.

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Sometimes, practicing yoga can alleviate tension. Note: If you are a man over fifty-five years old, you might be given a cute nickname like “Guy who attended one class and then left on a stretcher”…

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Laugh more! Maybe take up running. If you decide running is for you but need motivation, laugh at a cop or athletes at a boxing gym.

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Modify your diet to make it healthier. Add more lean meats, raw vegetables and Xanax…

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Procure drugs from a legal drug pusher or, as most people refer to them, “psychiatrists”.

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Connect with other people or, if you are a mule, donkeys and horses.

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Keep a journal… not YOUR journal but that of someone who is interesting in some way…

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Sex! So much sex that you can no longer feel your feet and ankles. Back off a little if your spouse gets overwhelmed. How will you know? If your spouse is trying to send you off to a summer camp or boarding school.

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Get enough sleep. If you are too tense to do so, try connecting with more people and mules.

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Spending time in your garden reduces stress as evidenced by all the free-spirited gophers…