Book Excerpt Part Two

My first memory is of my mother telling me to forget what I just saw… Nothing before that… even though it would probably explain why I wet my bed until I was four and wet my brother’s bed ’til I was eight. I remember learning that the hot stove was not to be touched. I […]

10-100-500-100-10 Rutabagas

I am a witness to the death of the rutabaga. That’s right: The miracle vegetable that has graced so many Thanksgiving tables is about to go the way of the dinosaur and the five dollar steak. The rutabaga cures cancer BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS! Of course, after it starts, you’re on your own. But, the […]

Two Boobs: That’s What They Take us for (pt 2)

But, there’s always mom and dad’s house and your old room; however, it is now filled with sewing supplies and fishing equipment. They manage to put a futon in the corner and it’s a little better than sleeping on the streets and WAY better than rooming with vegans. After a few months of french fries […]

eVIL AND pOTATOES

[Not thrilled with this one but, it’s Friday so OUT IT GOES!] I’m considering becoming evil… … not PURE evil. You could still touch me without exploding and it would be safe to use a bathroom after I do; but, I can no longer sit around and be good. Someone once told me that good […]