Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
She must have no visible tattoos. Where she might get invisible tattoos is none of my business. ♀ She should think the previous joke was funny… or thought-provoking… or, at least not throw a wrench at me… ♀ She must be tone-deaf; then, I can tell her that I’m a great singer and SHE’LL NEVER […]
Read More What I Look for in a GirlfriendWhen Gertrude Stein said, “A rose is a rose is a rose”. She was only half right. I am deeply, profoundly and possibly in love with you; in fact, I would die for you… I would die twice for you. I wouldn’t die three times for you because people would stop taking me seriously. Your […]
Read More My Love for You: Part OneHold tightly to the one you love. When they stop kicking, stash the body somewhere and find another victim. ♥ Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Being deeply loved by someone who has bad judgment gives you herpes. ♥ You need nothing more than to be […]
Read More Sage Thinks, Man Blinks, Love StinksCoke/Meth-head: You’d think all of that extra energy would make for a GREAT relationship. Staying up forty-eight hours at a time would ensure that she’d have even MORE time to be focused on ME. But, she wrecked my car and then she slept with my brother. After that, she wrecked HIS car and slept with […]
Read More Types of Women I am DONE with[Note: Next week, to commemorate another hundred followers, will be Chapter Three of The Moosehead Strategem. Clear your calendars and hide your daughters] I promise to always be true to you as long as you don’t look as if you want to have an affair. I promise not to go to bed angry so we’ll […]
Read More For My Second Wedding I’ve Written My Own Angry Vows
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 