Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
I don’t care what you say: If I tell you what I just mumbled, you WILL be mad… so don’t ask. ♀ If you scratch me behind the ears for fifteen minutes a day, I will never give you a lick of trouble. ♀ If I say, “I love this movie”, it isn’t code for, […]
Read More Advice to My Next WifeI tried phone-sex only once but I couldn’t figure out where to put the phone. Improvising only made it more unpleasant and a little humiliating… ♥ I once stalked and killed a three-hundred pound big horn sheep… best experience of my LIFE; but, I don’t think I’ll be doing it a second time now that […]
Read More Stuff You Don’t Know about MeI’m thankful for sex education because, without it, the girls I dated in high school and college wouldn’t have been able to tell me what I was doing wrong. ֎ I’m thankful for pork because, if we didn’t eat it, with all the pigs we kill, we’d come off looking like a bunch of sadists. […]
Read More Stuff I’m Thankful for, Part Five“Oh baby! Just like that… except use your left hand, go slower and clockwise, this time” ♥ “I feel… I FEEL… I FEEL… pregnant” ♥ “I’m going to make you feel things you’ve never—oops… sorry…” ♥ “Does that feel good? Do you like it? Can you fill out this questionnaire?” ♥ “I’m almost there… almost… […]
Read More Stuff You don’t Want to Blurt Out During SexA romantic dinner is a great way of showing your love for a woman and it’s a good chance to watch her eat, in order to gauge how heavy she’ll get after marriage. To gauge how heavy you’ll get, just add ten pounds for each candy bar you ate on your way to pick her […]
Read More Still More Valentines Tips for Guys
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 