My Girlf and I broke Up (an exercise)

Turned out my girlfriend was a werewolf and would change forms with the full moon; I had to break things off with her because I got tired of my neighbor’s cats being eaten every thirty days… ☼ I ended my relationship because I didn’t get along with my girlfriend’s dog. Some dogs get possessive and […]

The Big Breakup

Sadly, I have to end our engagement. You have been unfaithful. You might not have cheated on me, physically; but, you’ve cheated on me, metaphorically. That’s far worse… or far better… depending upon how you look at it. I’m finding it hard to deal with the shame and so is my girlfriend… she’s THIS close […]

More Dating Advice for Men and Women

Guys: A good rule of thumb is to spend one hour’s salary for every inch of cleavage your date’s outfit shows. If you live in Europe, that’s twenty-four minutes salary for each centimeter… * Women: If you plan on breaking up with a man but don’t think you can go through with it, give him […]

What am I Gonna do with All this Strontium?

I was in a hurry when my four year old asked, “Daddy, 38 is how many?”. I handed him the nucleus of a strontium atom and told him to count the protons. ♠ Strontium 90 has a half-life of twenty-six years so if you spill some, just wait five hundred years and most of it […]

Random Thoughts (a Little Blue)

Recently, I tried asiago cheese for the second time and, just like the first time, it really didn’t taste like anything. So, I recommend grating some onto a dish that already tastes exactly like you want it. ♣ I didn’t have an imaginary friend growing up. I don’t know whether to feel regret or pretend […]