Love and Ann

Our love grew more each day. Each business day… then, at midnight Friday, our love dropped sharply off until midnight Sunday. I remember one Sunday morning waking up to find that she’d tattooed two eyes on my forehead. This drove my dog crazy because she didn’t know where to look when I talked to her. […]

On the Five Basic Forces of Nature

People say that there is no gravity… just matter following the curvatures of space/time; but, you never hear a guy who is clinging to a ledge a hundred feet over the pavement say, “Help me! I’m about to follow the curvature of space/time” ▲ The same electrical forces that power the taser that brings down […]

My Love for You: Part One

When Gertrude Stein said, “A rose is a rose is a rose”. She was only half right. I am deeply, profoundly and possibly in love with you; in fact, I would die for you… I would die twice for you. I wouldn’t die three times for you because people would stop taking me seriously. Your […]

I Hate Stationary Bikes

[Idea came from a conversation with Rivergirl] When you pop a wheelie, it never ends well. ֍ Sometimes, I throw mine downstairs and yell, “Who’s stationary NOW?” ֍ In my rear-view mirror, objects are closer than they appear… which is probably why I get the feeling that the wall behind my bike is creeping up […]

Ask a Bio-Engineered [blah blah blah] Dog

Dear Bio-Engineered, Genetically-Modified Super-Intelligent Dog, I know that my husband hasn’t paid his income taxes in years. If I turn him in, I hear that the IRS will give me a portion of the money they recover. This money would be very helpful in paying some of our bills and getting our life on track. […]