Why Living to a Million Would be Bleak Indeed

When lit, the candles on your birthday cake can be seen from the asteroid belt. If you want a partner more mature than you are, you’ll have to settle on a mountain range. 999,950 years of rheumatism… Your driving ends up being so bad that, on days you take the car out, flags are preemptively […]

Why I’m Mad

I get mad when someone puts the milk back in the fridge with only a few drops in it. If it turns out it was me, I still get mad but I keep it to myself… I get mad because youth is wasted on the young; but, anyone can get old age if they are […]